Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Staying in Abusive Relationships

  • We Had a Bad Day

    We Had a Bad Day

    First a Note Note from 2012: One of my greatest fears is that my behavior negatively affects my boys. Looking back on this journal entry makes that fear real. I know they’ve felt pain due to my yelling. I don’t always separate my frustrations with my relationship and myself from my frustrations with my children.…


  • I’m Always Saying Something Stupid

    I’m Always Saying Something Stupid

    I’d say I was lonely or tired or sad and he would get angry and tell me “You have it so fucking good! You don’t have a damn thing to complain about!”


  • It Will Be Better When… Oh. My Bad. No, It Won’t.

    It Will Be Better When… Oh. My Bad. No, It Won’t.

    One sign of abuse is if you keep thinking “It Will Be Better When….” (when we have a baby, the kids go to school, we move, the kids go to college, etc.)


  • Hate-Hate Relationship

    Hate-Hate Relationship

    I tried to learn how to NOT respond to Will’s verbal abuse and nasty behavior, but sitting there and taking it was a response. He liked it, I think.


  • Detaching from an Alcoholic

    Detaching from an Alcoholic

    Al-Anon is helping me to detach from Will’s drinking, but I’m not liking it too much. I feel responsible for making him well and happy so he can be NICE.


  • Try to Be Nice

    Try to Be Nice

    Note from 2012: We lived apart for two months in 1994. It was no honeymoon period, that’s for sure. I believe Will abused me during this period to confuse me and keep me on my toes. I mean, if our relationship was in turmoil, I wouldn’t have time to think about myself. I couldn’t detach…


  • Skipping Work – Fatigue, Inability to Concentrate and Irritability

    Skipping work by abused women (& men) costs corps. & the govt. millions of dollars annually, plus financial & emotional cost to the victims. But with symptoms stemming from verbal and emotional abuse, the only solution is to end the abuse.


  • Moody Depressed Alone

    Moody Depressed Alone

    I’ve been so depressed & moody lately – I’ve been terrible. I either am so deeply in love that I can’t see, or else he is irritating the shit out of me.


  • Pregnant & Worried About Money

    Pregnant & Worried About Money

    I’m very concerned about investing the little money we have into bonds or CD’s or something. Will is holding out to buy CD’s, but we need $1000 just to start one of those! Why not invest in SOME way while we can? Oh well. I guess I should let him handle that for now. If…


  • I Blamed Myself for My Rotten Marriage

    I Blamed Myself for My Rotten Marriage

    Early on, I blamed myself for all that was wrong. “I’m always proving my love to him, but I fail in his eyes. Always. I can’t do anything well enough.”