Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

About Relationship Abuse

  • Too Fast Too Soon: A Commitment Red Flag

    Too Fast Too Soon: A Commitment Red Flag

    The too fast too soon red flag I mention in the following video has to do with If you feel either way, it is important to slow down. Take a breath alone. Let things settle. That person isn’t going anywhere if they are truly in love with you. Transcript Hello, my name is Kellie Jo Holly,…


  • Top 12 Signs of Abuse in Your Future

    Top 12 Signs of Abuse in Your Future

    What are the signs of abuse to watch out for when you meet a new guy or gal? We know you cannot tell who will abuse you by looking at them. Most likely, if the new person in your life is an abuser, they will sweep you off your feet and make you feel like…


  • Emotional Drama Is Not Love

    Emotional Drama Is Not Love

    Emotional Drama Is an Abuser’s Smoke and Mirrors Emotional drama is not love. It is manufactured by the abuser during the initial attachment period. Emotional drama allows the abuser to use smoke and mirrors to disguise their true intentions. They want to place you under a false-love spell. The abuser overacts the “love” they feel…


  • How to Avoid Abuse In Future Relationships

    How to Avoid Abuse In Future Relationships

    Get Clear on What You Expect from a Relationship You experienced an abusive relationship before, and your favorite personal goal is to avoid abuse entirely in every relationship from now on. Unfortunately, your experience tells you that you could be in love before you find out that your new mate is abusive! You’re smart enough to know that abusive people keep their…


  • Judging and Criticizing

    Judging and Criticizing

    Making You Look Like a Loser Judging and criticizing allow your abuser to express how little they accept you as you are. The abuser implies that you should be smarter, saner, less picky, pickier, or any other type of expression about how little your abuser appreciates who you are. Many judging and criticizing statements start…


  • Discounting


    Discounting Your Reality Abusive people enjoy discounting your thoughts, feelings, and reality so they do not have to take responsibility for their abusive behavior. If your abuser can force you to doubt your perception of how something happened, what someone did, who agreed to do what, or almost anything else related to the way you understand…


  • Ordering and Demanding

    Ordering and Demanding

    Abusers “Forget” That You Are Your Own Person If your partner orders you around and demands you meet their requests, then you hear verbal abuse. Patricia Evans, the author of the best verbal abuse books, says that when someone makes demands of you, the person has forgotten that “you are a free person, and if…


  • How to Heal From Brainwashing

    How to Heal From Brainwashing

    Regain Control of Your Mind Can you heal from brainwashing? Yes. Once you know you’ve experienced it, you can heal from brainwashing and recover from domestic abuse. First, learn how your abuser used brainwashing steps to bring you under control. Then learn self-mind-control to undo the brainwashing. It will take less time to recover than it took to become…


  • Brainwashing and Intelligence

    Brainwashing and Intelligence

    Brainwashing and intelligence have nothing to do with one another (Brainwashing – Learn How It’s Done So You Can Undo It). Unintelligent people can brainwash intelligent ones as easily as an intelligent abuser can brainwash a less intelligent person. The effects of verbal abuse or the effects of any type of abuse on your thinking is summed up in one word:…


  • Withholding or Depriving

    Withholding or Depriving

    What Might an Abuser Withhold from a Victim? Withholding affection is one type of deprivation, and that occurs when your mate purposefully withholds physical contact (including sex). Divorces of the past were granted for “alienation of affection” and withholding physical comforts underlies the complaint. However, there are other ways abusive people deprive their victims. Abusers may deprive you…