Book Excerpts
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Detaching from My Abuser: Hold and Release
There must be something in the air. My mood is so serious, like a rain-filled cloud threatening to rain on my parade. Although I feel in my gut that I’m moving in the right direction, I’m getting stronger, finding out who I am and what I like (and don’t), … there’s something heavily sad about…
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Resisting Temptation & Codependency
I just stopped myself from doing something manipulative after seeing a youtube interview with Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman’s Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go. For almost a year and a half now, I’ve tried to prove to my husband that he is, in fact,…
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How Did I Get Here?
How did I become a victim? Yesterday my friend and I hit upon one answer. Or rather, one question that is actually RELEVANT to “How did I get here?”
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What Was I Doing in the Missing Years?
And, honestly and more ominously, I want to prove him wrong. That is pointless, I know. He would diminish or counter everything I found relating to my timeline if I showed it as proof. “You could write anything and no one would know whether it was the truth or a lie – you live in…
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Threats After a Court Date: “I Will Hurt You, Crawfisher”
I listened to a bit of his drivel, but when he said, “This isn’t a threat, but -” I cut him off. You can pretty much bet that when someone tells you “This isn’t a threat” that it is going to be a threat.
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I Was Happy at Times but Couldn’t Notice It
I experienced these small instances of happiness, but then I quickly let them fade as I chose to tend to the pain, confusion, and sense of merely living through the day. Maybe now, because I know the pain is constantly ready to surface, I am more willing to let the good feelings wash over and…
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I’d Rather Risk Losing Than Break His Heart
I’m not prepared to negotiate in private with my abusive ex for custody of our children. The judge will have to decide. This may have a bad end.
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The Desire to ‘Fix and Please’ Is Codependency
Quietone said that she remembers me saying my desire to “fix and please” plays a factor in the abuse. She is right. If I took down this site, it would be to please Will; the more I think about it, the more I realize that removing my blog is another way to erase me. No…
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Seek and Ye Shall Find
Will and I were unhappily married and I once mistakenly blamed him for every one of our missteps and evils. Although I thought I was trying to make him happy, I was really trying to make him happy so he could make me happy. When I failed, I wanted to run far and fast. I…
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Why I’m Staying In My Abusive Marriage
I will be doing a lot of work in the realm of codependency, as well as finding solutions to dealing with my husband’s abusive techniques. It takes two participants to play this sick game we’ve got going on in my home. What will happen when I simply stop playing?
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