When I Left My Abuser
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Emotions After Leaving Your Abuser
Escaping Abuse Is More Than Leaving Escaping an abusive relationship involves more than having a safety plan and walking out the door. In addition to the logistical planning, you also must plan for some confusing emotions after leaving your abuser. The loaded emotions create a minefield that my therapist didn’t prepare me for. But I…
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Safety Planning Process Brings Up Tough Emotions
One of the toughest things about the safety planning process is that it forces you to face the abuse in your relationship. When you look at your abusive relationship truthfully, the panic to leave begins. You rush to judgment on yourself, thinking things like, Please, refrain from judging yourself. Not one of those reactions takes…
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About Kellie Jo Holly
Kellie Jo Holly is recognized as an artist, writer, and advocate for survivors of domestic violence. She is known for her contributions to raising awareness about domestic abuse, particularly through her work in creating the “Verbal Abuse Journals” website. Kellie Jo Holly established the Verbal Abuse Journals website which served as a platform to share…
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I Lived a Fairy Tale During Domestic Abuse
Once upon a time, I lived in a world of disapproval and fear. I listened to a man who demanded I make him happy, then grew angrier when I could not. I thought something was wrong with me, so I sought to change who I was to become more pleasing to that man. But as I changed…
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Detaching from My Abuser: Hold and Release
There must be something in the air. My mood is so serious, like a rain-filled cloud threatening to rain on my parade. Although I feel in my gut that I’m moving in the right direction, I’m getting stronger, finding out who I am and what I like (and don’t), … there’s something heavily sad about…
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Becoming Myself After the Abuse: I’m Not That Person . . . Yet
The past month whirled around me, through me, like a red wine hurricane. I feel alive and strong, but spinning uncontrollably in my heart are questions and wishes that I’m not ready to answer or fulfill. I feel like I’m in danger of losing my vision because time isn’t pacing itself with my desires –…
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Searching for Who I Am
One time an old friend said he pictured me as Peggy Hill and I about had a heart attack. Right there. On the spot. You can’t forget being compared to Peggy Hill. It ain’t funny, y’all. I felt like sending him a picture, but seeing that I was 200 pounds, I refrained thinking he would…
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Life’s Luxuries are New to Me
For the first time in a very long time, I’m dealing with a variety of emotions, bad and good (if I have to judge an emotion as bad or good…). In the last year(s?) of my marriage, I dealt with anger, betrayal, fear, bitterness, probably even hate. But now there is a world of emotion…
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Some Guy Off the Street
As you may have gathered from my last post, I am entertaining the thought of having some wonderful sex in the future. While that is true, I can’t seem to think about sex without also thinking about a “RELATIONSHIP”. Well, that isn’t entirely true. I very well can imagine the sex without a relationship, but…
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Gotta Raise
A few days ago, my boss gave me a tape measure with my name written on it in permanent marker. I was so darn happy to see that thing – such a simple thing, yet it caused me so much joy! My name in permanent marker on a tape measure. Go figure. So anyway, today…
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