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The things abusers say and do vary, but there is a commonality you can count on: your partner wants to feel powerful and you to feel less than who you are.

Things Abusers Say and Do

neon sign saying 'this is the sign you've been looking for.'

Verbal Abuse Disguised as a Joke

Abuse disguised as a joke happens when abusers tease or make fun of you, usually in front of others. However, you know they are threats and put-downs in disguise.

Knowing what verbal abuse sounds like can end the crazymaking and brainwashing of domestic violence and abuse. A bold claim? Not really. Afterall, the reason you came to be abused is…

Examples of Verbal Abuse

“How to set boundaries” is a code phrase for “how to stand up for yourself”. I’ve stood up for myself in unhealthy ways in the past. I’ve learned that I can’t fight fire with fire. My husband can out-yell and out-intimidate me every time.

How to Set Boundaries to Protect Against Abuse

woman looking out a window thoughtfully as she needs to set some boundaries to protect her from abuse

First Steps for Abuse Victims

The shock of discovering you are in an abusive relationship can turn to panic over what to do. The following guide will help you clear your thinking after weeks or years of abuse. These are the first steps for abuse victims.

One of the toughest things about the safety planning process is that it forces you to face the abuse in your relationship.

Safety Planning Process Brings Up Tough Emotions

Most Read Pages

About Abuse

What Are Other Words for Abuse? You might hear abuse called many things: Who Is Abused? Abusers target any person (adult or child) regardless of age, race, religion, education level, IQ, economic background, culture, or community status. Who Gets It Worse, Men or Women? As a society, we tend to assume that abusers are men…
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First Steps For Abuse Victims

The shock of discovering you are in an abusive relationship can turn to panic over what to do. The following guide will help you clear your thinking after weeks or years of abuse. These are the first steps for abuse victims. Over your time in an abusive relationship, you’ve likely developed some side effects of abuse…
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What Does Living with Domestic Abuse Feel Like?

Living with domestic abuse feels like you’re carrying around a 500-pound weight–except you don’t realize you’re carrying the weight. You don’t remember how much grander life felt before you picked up the weight, because adding it to your burdens happened so gradually. Imperceptibly, Abuse built its home on your shoulders. Effects of Living With Domestic…
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See the rest of the Most Read Category

Safety Planning

Safety Planning Process Brings Up Tough Emotions

One of the toughest things about the safety planning process is that it forces you to face the abuse in your relationship. When you look at your abusive relationship truthfully,…
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Leaving Abuse: Ways to Feel Stronger So You Can Go

I left my abusive husband 4 years and a month ago, but I clearly remember those first few months of freedom. It sure didn’t feel like freedom as the anxiety…
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I Called My Local Sheriff’s Department (Non-Emergency)

I called the Sheriff’s department and spoke with the person in charge of domestic violence cases. I wanted to find out as much as I could about the process that…
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Read more in the Domestic Violence Safety Plan Category

Examples of Verbal Abuse

Top 12 Signs of Abuse in Your Future

What are the signs of abuse to watch out for when you meet a new guy or gal? We know you cannot tell who will abuse you by looking at…
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Emotional Drama Is Not Love

Emotional Drama Is an Abuser’s Smoke and Mirrors Emotional drama is not love. It is manufactured by the abuser during the initial attachment period. Emotional drama allows the abuser to…
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Judging and Criticizing

Making You Look Like a Loser Judging and criticizing allow your abuser to express how little they accept you as you are. The abuser implies that you should be smarter,…
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