Detachment

A Guided Meditation for Abuse Victims

Get the Abuser’s Voice Out of Your Head My sister, Erin Chavez, created this guided meditation for abuse victims, although she meant it just for me at first. I had to tell you she made it for me first because my sister is so supportive of me and all-around awesome. And I want everyone to…
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Staying in an Abusive Relationship

Staying Is a Choice You Can Make Staying in an abusive relationship is a choice some of us make. But when you’re staying in an abusive relationship, you won’t find much support from your family or friends–if your abuser hasn’t isolated you from them–or even domestic violence helping agencies. People who would like to support…
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Observing, Not Participating In, My Abuse

Therefore, I am finding that I am an emotional chameleon. I must learn to turn off my emotions and the thought train they trigger when I recognize abuse to protect myself and begin “observation mode”. This is not going to work for the long haul. I do not want to live my life connecting and…
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Boundaries for Abusive Relationship Examples

“I Cannot Control You” is the missing key for people setting boundaries in abusive relationships. I cannot control you, but I can control me. So if you are acting like a jerk, I get to decide if I’m going to stay around you while you act that way…or not. Boundaries for abusive relationships help you…
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Detached from Abuse: This Is Me, That Is Him

I am not naive enough to think this will be easy. It would be nice if some great hand would reach down from the sky to snatch a long-lost relative who left me (and my sister, mother, and grandmas) millions. But as much fun as it is to consider that inane possibility, I do not…
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Abusive Nonsense

“He’s acting like his FATHER!” – Now if those words cross my mind, I will think, “This abusive nonsense is what I’m fighting, not my son.”
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Abusers React to Boundaries Poorly

Abusers Will Feel a Certain Way How do abusive people typically react to you enforcing your boundaries? It is likely to make them angry. Why? In essence, your boundary cuts them off from the core of you, and abusive people do not like that at all. Their control over you relies on you being open…
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Mind Games: Use Them To Detach From Domestic Abuse

Living in abuse takes a thought out strategy. It’s not good to be surprised and thrown off balance all the time. Could you turn your abuser into a lab rat?
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Detaching from an Alcoholic

Al-Anon is helping me to detach from Will’s drinking, but I’m not liking it too much. I feel responsible for making him well and happy so he can be NICE.
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