Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Recovery from Domestic Abuse


  • Overcoming Verbal Abuse in 5 Critical Steps

    Overcoming Verbal Abuse in 5 Critical Steps

    …And Rebuilding Your Life Overcoming verbal abuse can entail a long and difficult recovery process, but it is possible with the right plan of action and support. When you seek professional help, practice self-care, create boundaries, build a support system, and practice forgiveness (not what you think it is!), you can create healthy relationships and…

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  • Emotions After Leaving Your Abuser

    Emotions After Leaving Your Abuser

    Escaping Abuse Is More Than Leaving Escaping an abusive relationship involves more than having a safety plan and walking out the door. In addition to the logistical planning, you also must plan for some confusing emotions after leaving your abuser. The loaded emotions create a minefield that my therapist didn’t prepare me for. But I…

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  • Healing Emotional Trauma in Recovery

    Healing Emotional Trauma in Recovery

    The Manitoba Trauma Information & Education Centre1 states the stages of healing emotional trauma are: Did you notice the cycle in domestic abuse recovery? The cycle of abuse spun you down to the depths of despair, but the cycle of domestic abuse recovery will raise you up. Yet the healing process is a cycle, and no one can…

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  • Too Fast Too Soon: A Commitment Red Flag

    Too Fast Too Soon: A Commitment Red Flag

    The too fast too soon red flag I mention in the following video has to do with If you feel either way, it is important to slow down. Take a breath alone. Let things settle. That person isn’t going anywhere if they are truly in love with you. Transcript Hello, my name is Kellie Jo Holly,…

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  • Do You Want Your Abuser Back?

    Do You Want Your Abuser Back?

    If So, You’re Perfectly Normal The stress of untangling YOU from THEM can make you want your abuser back. It sucks, but it’s true. After I left Will, my husband, my desire to return to him surprised me. I thought I was above wanting him back. I felt like such a loser! I didn’t expect to ever…

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  • Diagnosing PTSD with the DSM-5

    Diagnosing PTSD with the DSM-5

    Criteria Clusters in Diagnosing PTSD The DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition), tells us there are eight criteria for diagnosing PTSD. The three criteria that must be present for a PTSD diagnosis are: Diagnosing PTSD Criterion Cluster 1 Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one…

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  • How to Avoid Abuse In Future Relationships

    How to Avoid Abuse In Future Relationships

    Get Clear on What You Expect from a Relationship You experienced an abusive relationship before, and your favorite personal goal is to avoid abuse entirely in every relationship from now on. Unfortunately, your experience tells you that you could be in love before you find out that your new mate is abusive! You’re smart enough to know that abusive people keep their…

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  • A Guided Meditation for Abuse Victims

    A Guided Meditation for Abuse Victims

    Get the Abuser’s Voice Out of Your Head My sister, Erin Chavez, created this guided meditation for abuse victims, although she meant it just for me at first. I had to tell you she made it for me first because my sister is so supportive of me and all-around awesome. And I want everyone to…

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  • Your Recovery From Domestic Abuse

    Your Recovery From Domestic Abuse

    Recovering on Purpose Recovery from domestic abuse and violence is always possible. Recovery from domestic abuse becomes probable when you: No one knows how long you’ll need to completely recover from domestic abuse. But as you’ll find out, even a bit of recovery from abuse makes your heart sing. Nurturing your recovery, or recovering on purpose, adds structure to your recovery. Thoughts…

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  • Mentoring Program from Verbal Abuse Journals

    Mentoring Program from Verbal Abuse Journals

    Mentoring Program Renamed Domestic Abuse Survivor Help (DASH) I’m very proud of the former Verbal Abuse Journals Mentoring Program. We helped hundreds of people who lived in abusive relationships or had left them. I will be forever grateful to Janet Rhodes for supervising the program and then accepting full responsibility for it. Before handing it…

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