Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Verbal and Emotional Abuse Help and Support


  • Therapy With Abuser Is A Waste of My Time And His

    Therapy With Abuser Is A Waste of My Time And His

    The therapist and Will agreed that women do not keep to the subject. Although that may be true some of the time (I am not above embracing a negative stereotype if it helps, which it rarely does), I am not the only person in my house who suffers from that particular compulsion.

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  • Counseling

    Counseling

    quietone said, “But in some ways trying to force him to be committal about counseling is asking him to correct everything before he even goes in for his first session. It’s also asking him to acknowledge that his is wrong. He won’t acknowledge that right now but if the counselor is any good he might…

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  • My Boundaries Keep Others Out and Me In

    I’ve been rather silent the past few days because of two things. One, another conversation with my husband in which I “lost it”. Two, my older son completely blew my mind with something he did. Not a good thing. Usually I would have immediately vomited these things onto this blog for all the world to…

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  • How to Stop Panicking Over What May Happen

    How to Stop Panicking Over What May Happen

    Is it possible for me to stop panicking over what may happen? I’m panicking now. My internal panic machine wants to take over. It is hard to slow down or think. The source of the panic is my fear of what may happen when Will comes home. All good panics have, at their root, an unknowable, unanswerable question. Hence, the…

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  • The Voices

    I feel a need to explain to you that I hear voices. They don’t tell me to do bad things or to hurt anyone. I’m not dissociated or schizophrenic and that is not a self-diagnosis. Anyway, I do hear voices. Some people think that I’m only talking to myself. Sylvia Browne, who insists that spirit…

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  • Declutter with a Theme

    Declutter with a Theme

    Make Your Home More You I am getting rid of some possessions that reflect “the old me” and keeping ones that project “who I am, was at heart, and always will be.” If something I own does not support the idea that I am “strong and vibrant”, then it is finding a new home. Self-Care…

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  • Abusers React to Boundaries Poorly

    Abusers React to Boundaries Poorly

    Abusers Will Feel a Certain Way How do abusive people typically react to you enforcing your boundaries? It is likely to make them angry. Why? In essence, your boundary cuts them off from the core of you, and abusive people do not like that at all. Their control over you relies on you being open…

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  • Better than "It hurts my feelings when you…"

    A comment on the previous post helped me to realize that I’ve got to come up with a strategy for dealing with my husband that doesn’t include telling him that he’s hurt me. He doesn’t care. Or rather, he’s glad that I’m hurt because that means he has the upper hand. I’m ripe for travelling down…

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  • A Self-Care Journaling Exercise: 5 and 2

    A Self-Care Journaling Exercise: 5 and 2

    What beliefs are giving you trouble? Which ones are worth carrying forward into the future? There’s an exercise called “5 and 2” and it asks you to choose five beliefs to keep and two beliefs to let go. What’s good for you to keep and what’s better left behind? Here are my thoughts on 5 and…

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  • My Support System Is My Foundation

    It’s all right that they don’t call ME. The fact that I have benefited and will continue to benefit from their wisdom, education and support is phenomenally important to me. I went from being someone stuck in isolation to being someone who knows who to call and when. More importantly, I learned that my husband’s…

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