During My Abusive Marriage
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When Is It Okay for Me to Be Angry?
So when is it okay for me to be angry? How do I get rid of it, find a solution for it, or at least just FEEL it, righteous or not, and move on?
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Hurtful Words Tell You Who You Are Not
You Define Who You Are My Mamaw (great-grandmother) said “Give ’em to me” via a psychic last summer. Mamaw was talking about the hurtful words I have absorbed and any hurtful words I may hear in the future. She said those words didn’t mean anything – they weren’t true, and the only person hanging on…
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Getting Rid of Negative Thinking with Thor’s Hammer
To retrain my thinking, I’m going to start with ideas I already identify as problematic. But how do you attack a negative thought effectively? Um, who is this causing an uproar? Erin says: “(I am in the back of the class, extending my arm as far upward as it can go, waving it like a…
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Subconscious Habits
Elements of this stinking thinking are evident before marrying Will, but I somehow overcame them (at least partially if not entirely). Or maybe my parents didn’t direct me in any certain way so what I did to try to please them aligned more directly with what I wanted for myself. Will “directed” me. He, unlike…
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Looking for the Enemy In Abusive Marriage Seems Unhelpful
I am not saying that what I habitually do or say EXCUSES any abuse, nor am I saying that what I do or say CONTROLS Will’s actions or reactions. I’m saying that the things I do and say (out of habit) ENABLES the abusive cycle or abusive dynamic to continue.
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Therapy With Abuser Is A Waste of My Time And His
The therapist and Will agreed that women do not keep to the subject. Although that may be true some of the time (I am not above embracing a negative stereotype if it helps, which it rarely does), I am not the only person in my house who suffers from that particular compulsion.
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Marriage Counseling Does Not Help Abusive Relationships
I want him to take responsibility for our problems as he expects me to do & expects as much of himself as he expects of me. I want equality in our marriage. However, I tend to agree with Kera who commented, “His response to your marriage counseling hardly seemed like he’s going to become a…
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Anger Management
I’m finding myself in need of anger management skills. Last night, while watching a documentary about the Army Rangers, my husband became horribly upset at the fact there was a woman psychologist present at the 2-week initial Ranger training program. I don’t know if it was because she was a woman or because she was…
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Counseling
quietone said, “But in some ways trying to force him to be committal about counseling is asking him to correct everything before he even goes in for his first session. It’s also asking him to acknowledge that his is wrong. He won’t acknowledge that right now but if the counselor is any good he might…
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Fragments
I cannot afford to assume that the goodness will continue. When I go to cook dinner, I can take a minute to relish in the previous moment, think that something good may have happened, BUT if I assume the next time I see Will’s face that he will be glad to see me, smiling at…
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