During My Abusive Marriage
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You’re a Housewife. Be Grateful Dammit. And Smile.
To my husband, I am a housewife. He said so. He rejected any other role because none of them bring home any money. And after rejecting me wholly (since housewife is only a fraction of who I am), he continued to tell me what makes housewives happy.
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Cryptogram
Okay, let’s do something a little different. I’m not going to tell you what this conversation was about. Instead, I’m going to share what I wrote down, what I heard him say verbatim, and let you fill in the blanks. Gullible Sucker Don’t take it personal Don’t get this twisted Unbelievable That’s (how he talks…
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Loveseat
There have been no more fights between Will and I. We aren’t fighting. We have had a couple of discussions that were intense, yet they did not turn into fights. That is a good thing, and I’m grateful for it. That doesn’t mean there isn’t tension. There was one night where Will slept with me and…
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XXOO
I went to the group meeting yesterday and met several women. Some still in their abusive relationships and some have left; some were in my age range and some were very young women. Some were soldiers, some were civilians. The uniting factor was our experience, and our experiences were both “the same” and horrifyingly different.…
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Pressure Cooker
Yesterday afternoon, when talking to the Army social worker, I broke down, completely. I was beside myself, literally, at hearing some news she delivered. When she asked me if I felt in danger, I told her, “Yes, I think I do.” I was surprised I said it, but more surprised that I do, indeed, feel…
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Distraction & Manipulation
My husband accused our son of drinking Jack Daniels, but wanted to do nothing about it. I sense an ulterior motive to distract me from his abuse of me.
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Mispoken
The first conversation about “us” we had involved him telling me that he had three priorities. One, getting Marc straightened out. Two, getting our marriage straightened out. Three, his career. He is a list maker. I expressed concern that by keeping items one and two separate in his mind, he may feel frustration. I also said that by…
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Nothing Wrong With Me
Last night, Will blew up about my callousness in choosing my and the boys’ mental health and welfare over his career. He got ugly, but I stood up and said, “That’s it. I’m done with this conversation,” and remarkably, he pretty much quit (maybe because the boys were in the room). For whatever reason, he…
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Red Flags
So, last December, there was a domestic violence incident at my home. The Army got wind of it in February (early March?) after Will had deployed. So now that he’s back, he’s required to do some sort of counseling. The Army social services (not state social services) interviewed me at that time. The man I…
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It’s Ba-ack: Anxiety and Verbal Abuse
Anxiety disorders are common side-effects of domestic abuse. If you feel like me, you could be developing anxiety yourself. Read this.
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