During My Abusive Marriage
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How I Attempt to Control: Is This Codependency?
I divert my attention trying to “get it all done.” This results in frustration, yelling (at myself or someone else), and getting nothing done. I try to force the kids to put the same amount of importance on things that I do. Chores, homework, etc. … my priorities. Everything is my priority. I’m inflexible, seeking
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A Self-Care Journaling Exercise: 5 and 2
What beliefs are giving you trouble? Which ones are worth carrying forward into the future? There’s an exercise called “5 and 2” and it asks you to choose five beliefs to keep and two beliefs to let go. What’s good for you to keep and what’s better left behind? Here are my thoughts on 5 and
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Hope is Worry Backwards
Hope is wonderful when it comes to hoping it won’t rain. But if you’re hoping it won’t rain, aren’t you also worrying that it will? Hope is not good to base your life around. “I hope my life improves.” Good. That’s cool. I hope your life improves, too. I’m not going to do anything about
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Crisis Obsession Is Codependency
I haven’t done what I want to do because I chose to obsess over crises. One after another until I defined who I was by the crisis I lived.
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Secrets
One hard lesson I want to learn and accept is that I must pursue things that are meaningful to me so I feel good when I accomplish something. Even if no one but me finds my pursuits meaningful, and even if no one ever praises me or gives me a cookie for pursuing them. The…
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The Good Stuff
“Releasing and healing parental and spousal emotional abuse and sexual abuse will do more for improving your diet and life than just about anything else.” ~from How To Naturally Beat Metabolic Syndrome I believe that statement is true (although I’m not spending money on the diet the site promotes!). As I unwrap layers and years of
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Practice Being Me
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein said that “Behavioral patterns run deeper than love.” I understand completely what she means. Sometimes, during the heat of an argument with Will, the dialog running through my head was completely different from the words coming out of my mouth. Probably worse was that the rational and calm part of my…
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6-years-old and growing
One part of my plan to end the abuse is in dismanteling his public persona. No, I’m not going to go around town diminishing him as a man or husband. I’m not going to bad-mouth him to friends. I’m not going to be mean and nasty to combat his anger.
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