Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

How I Attempt to Control: Is This Codependency?

I divert my attention trying to “get it all done.” This results in frustration, yelling (at myself or someone else), and getting nothing done.

I try to force the kids to put the same amount of importance on things that I do.  Chores, homework, etc. … my priorities.

Everything is my priority.

I’m inflexible, seeking to force everyone else to bend to my will.

I try to “be good and helpful” in other people’s eyes, diminishing my time and energy…diminishing my power. As if I know what everyone else thinks is “good and helpful” anyway.

I choose BECAUSE I “should”

I choose WHAT I “should”

I put more emphasis on what I said than what I want. I choose a past word over the present reality so I don’t look like a liar, a hypocrite, a whatever.

I impose my priorities on other people without taking theirs into consideration.

I think what I want and how I want to get there is the only right thing and the only right way.

I ignore my decisions. I decide, then I reconsider. Especially in situations that I have an old desire to people please or think that by keeping someone happy I will get what I want.

When someone asks for “help” but I haven’t asked for help, I feel obligated to them.

I allow my thought circles to diminish me and my goals.

I ignore what’s good for ME when I feel overwhelmed, then try to make everyone else feel bad because I’m ignoring myself.

I ignore my need to decide.

I put too much emphasis on “IF…THEN” relationships. I don’t allow for other possible “ifs” and the “thens” are designed to thwart myself.

Read this entire post and more. Buy My Abusive Marriage . . . and what i’m doing in it by Kellie Jo Holly (or preview the book now).