Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

My Life After Abuse


  • Seek and Ye Shall Find

    Seek and Ye Shall Find

    Will and I were unhappily married and I once mistakenly blamed him for every one of our missteps and evils. Although I thought I was trying to make him happy, I was really trying to make him happy so he could make me happy. When I failed, I wanted to run far and fast. I

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  • Wasted Time Wasted Life

    Wasted Time Wasted Life

    I postpone things important to me so I will be emotionally strong enough to tend to my abuser’s needs, moods, and other surprises he has in store for me.

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  • Liar Liar – I Can’t Pretend I’m Not Angry

    Liar Liar – I Can’t Pretend I’m Not Angry

    I only wanted you to be nice to me. Treat me and our children with respect and civility. You can be who you are and still learn to be nice. You could have even looked at it as if you were playing a game with me, fooling me, manipulating me to believe good things about…

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  • Rules for Our Abusive Relationships

    Rules for Our Abusive Relationships

    RandomlyK (as she is known around here) posted a list of rules she must live by if she wants to keep the peace in her home. All of us have idiotic rules to follow when living in abuse because our abusers have idiotic thoughts. There is no pleasing some people. Perhaps we should start to

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  • Codependency Makes Me Want to Fix Things for Them

    Codependency Makes Me Want to Fix Things for Them

    My therapist presented an alternative solution, one that actually makes sense and would have cut out all the drama. She said that Marc’s feelings of guilt were HIS to deal with. It sounded harsh to me at first…didn’t I CAUSE Marc’s bad feelings? Wasn’t I responsible for this whole mess anyway? Shouldn’t I do everything…

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  • Having Doubts About Getting a Divorce: It’s too Soon to Decide

    But then there’s the big question: Am I on the path to divorce? Is there NO alternative? Am I going to get divorced in the same hasty manner I married? Did I throw out the brakes on this vehicle without realizing the road was headed downhill? I find myself wishing Will and I could talk.

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  • My Transition Title from Victim to Survivor

    My Transition Title from Victim to Survivor

    I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know what I’m feeling. And when I think about what I’m thinking I feel afraid. There’s no good title for that kind of confusion. There’s no good title for this time in my life. I’m not married but I’m not single. I don’t want to be married,

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  • I Don’t Feel Like Going Along Anymore

    Yesterday I visited the Women’s Center that acts as this area’s Small Business Association. The Center offers two programs that fit me. One caters to displaced homemakers and the other help people wanting to start their own businesses. Under the displaced homemaker program, The Women’s Center will pay so I can attend some classes offered at one of

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  • Codependency and My Darkness with an Apology at the End

    Codependency and My Darkness with an Apology at the End

    I sent an email to his family revealing this blog. Accidentally. This post is now part of the book “My Abusive Marriage…and what happened when i left it.”

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  • He’s an Asshole, But Not Abusive? Is It Possible?

    He’s an Asshole, But Not Abusive? Is It Possible?

    My husband admits to being an asshole, but doesn’t see how he’s abusive? Can you be one or the other or are you both?

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