Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

I Don’t Feel Like Going Along Anymore

Yesterday I visited the Women’s Center that acts as this area’s Small Business Association. The Center offers two programs that fit me. One caters to displaced homemakers and the other help people wanting to start their own businesses. Under the displaced homemaker program, The Women’s Center will pay so I can attend some classes offered at one of the colleges here in town.

I feel torn between wanting a job that makes money and one that is light on cash but heavy on connections to people. For example, the center would pay for my certification in many different types of healthcare jobs (aging baby boomers are making the career field lucrative). However, I don’t want to work in healthcare. I barely have patience when my own children are ill. Why would I want to inflict myself on aging ill people?

Woman who doesn't feel like going along anymore is holding gold coins to her eyes

Come to think of it, I’m not torn. I don’t care about the money. Not right now. I’m willing to work hard and make a name for myself, but I do hope the money comes at some point! I want to be a writer. I’m willing to forgo the starving artist mentality if something comes my way that fits me well. Maybe the money will come easier than I fear; I won’t know until I put myself out there.

Under the business program, the center will help me write a business plan and introduce me to people in the community in the writing field, at the paper, at area magazines, etc. I look at a business plan as verification that the service I have to offer is a viable commodity. Is there a market for my writing? What topics pay? Where? How much can I earn freelance? What’s the best way to publish my writing? Would it be better to get a day job (related to writing) right now and write my little arse off about whatever I wanted in my downtime?

Will doesn’t pay attention to the labor forecasts because he knows that there will always be a market for him – he is skilled at both soldiering and mechanics. He’s proud of his blue-collar mentality, and frankly, so am I. I’m a big fan of a good day’s work.

Will and I differ in that I see pursuits such as writing and art as valuable. Creating a work of art (whether it’s a story, a website, a painting) is challenging and rewarding. It’s not exactly blue-collar, callous-creating work, but that is okay. We each have our different skill sets, and I’m tired of putting my skills at a level lower than his. Yes, he is the one who places my skills at a lower level than his, but I am the one who went along with it (Discounting – A Type of Verbal Abuse).

I don’t much feel like going along anymore.

How the heck did Will get into this post? I didn’t mean to drag him into it. I suppose that Will and his ideas will be in my head for quite some time. They’ve been here for almost half my life already.

Read this entire post and more. Buy My Abusive Marriage . . . and what happened when i left it by Kellie Jo Holly