Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Domestic Violence Problems


  • Gnawing Hurt-My Reality Counts For Something. Right?

    Gnawing Hurt-My Reality Counts For Something. Right?

    My reality counts for something. Right? It was agony. Maybe it was agony because I was hurting ALONE. Just like now, I alone hurt for this marriage, for my husband, for my children, and for me. He doesn’t hurt because he doesn’t believe the problem is abuse. He thinks it is me.

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  • What Is Real?

    What Is Real?

    How do people know when they’re being authentic? How do people overcome fear? How can I be sure the verbal abuse is real? Why is it so hard to believe?

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  • Knot Spinning

    Confusion and depression are hallmarks of abusive relationships. For the victim anyway – the abuser knows what they are trying to do. They want to weaken.

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  • He Will Hurt Me, So I Stay? Makes No Sense. This is a Mind Fuck.

    He Will Hurt Me, So I Stay? Makes No Sense. This is a Mind Fuck.

    On the other hand, it is painful and hard for me to remember that he would, could and has hurt me physically – but it’s happened three times now. Nothing that will create a bruise where it will show. Something that he can deny to himself, to me, to anyone. Something that he ultimately blames…

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  • Bat Shit Crazy is Better Than Abused

    Bat Shit Crazy is Better Than Abused

    Will deployed to Iraq and I’m in our home in North Carolina with our boys. Will doesn’t call or write very often and it’s easy to pretend that I’m alone. I don’t particularly enjoy it when he does call because our conversations are all about the business of being married and the occasional sneak-attack to…

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  • PTSD and Depression Keep Me Spiraling Downward

    PTSD and Depression Keep Me Spiraling Downward

    PTSD and depression developed during domestic abuse caused visions of my children dying or dead. Fear of life held me tight, but I didn’t understand why.

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  • Depression Relief, Delusions of Joy

    Depression Relief, Delusions of Joy

    Abuse came before Depression in my marriage, but when my Depression lifted (thanks Prozac) I entered another fantasy world.

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  • Goals For Me Implanted Through Brainwashing

    Goals For Me Implanted Through Brainwashing

    By 1998, I didn’t even know what I wanted for me anymore. His goals for me became my goals for myself, inserted neat and clean in my mind with brainwashing.

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  • We Forgot to Scream

    We Forgot to Scream

    As I flipped through old journals to create Verbal Abuse Journals, I found a forgotten memory – an instance of physical abuse. How do you forget that?

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  • Walkin’ On Sunshine

    Walkin’ On Sunshine

    The honeymoon periods found me full of life and energy, yet dreading the possibility that the honeymoon would end. Make hay while the sun shines, I suppose.

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