Domestic Violence Problems
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Mispoken
The first conversation about “us” we had involved him telling me that he had three priorities. One, getting Marc straightened out. Two, getting our marriage straightened out. Three, his career. He is a list maker. I expressed concern that by keeping items one and two separate in his mind, he may feel frustration. I also said that by
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Nothing Wrong With Me
Last night, Will blew up about my callousness in choosing my and the boys’ mental health and welfare over his career. He got ugly, but I stood up and said, “That’s it. I’m done with this conversation,” and remarkably, he pretty much quit (maybe because the boys were in the room). For whatever reason, he
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Red Flags
So, last December, there was a domestic violence incident at my home. The Army got wind of it in February (early March?) after Will had deployed. So now that he’s back, he’s required to do some sort of counseling. The Army social services (not state social services) interviewed me at that time. The man I
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It’s Ba-ack: Anxiety and Verbal Abuse
Anxiety disorders are common side-effects of domestic abuse. If you feel like me, you could be developing anxiety yourself. Read this.
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Yesterday
I didn’t write yesterday because it was so crappy. I still don’t want to write because this morning already started off on a bad note. Or bang, perhaps. 7:30 AM, Sunday morning, I hear banging on the walls. I ignore it, falling back to sleep only to wake up again in 5 minutes. I’m thinking
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Diverting My Attention: If I Think It’s ME I Won’t See It’s YOU
Diverting my attention from what he was doing by exploiting my vulnerabilities was par for the course. He expertly distracted me from emotional abuse, turning my suspicions that he was hurting me to the idea that I only hurt myself.
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Calm
No more arguing today, and it’s 7:30 pm. We did talk more today since my last post, so the “no more arguing” bit is significant. We talked about how he is concerned about my abuse accusations. He said, “I don’t know what verbal abuse is, and I don’t know when I’m doing it. Judging from
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Treating Him Like a Science Project–Or a Lab Rat
Okay, I remember the advice. Science project (Observing But Not Participating In My Abuse). Calming down, not to go after it again though. I’m going to wait. And in the meantime, I’m going to write. Maybe I’ll do a search for scientific method worksheets. 😉 Actually, in addition to finding a worksheet and perhaps some
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Arguing Over Nothing
First argument, but I called a break. He was as unhappy about the argument as I was, I think. I’m writing to try to decipher when it started going south and why. I was first feeling frustrated when he was talking about his Priorities 1,2 and 3. Priority 1: our oldest son; Priority 2: me
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