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emotional intelligence includes many learnable skills

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is “street smarts,” as opposed to “book smarts” when speaking about emotional strength. Emotional intelligence accounts for a great deal of a person’s ability to navigate life effectively. We experience different levels of emotional intelligence based on our own life’s teachings and experiences. Learning to understand the five components of emotional intelligence will greatly […]

The Art of Verbal Self Defense

Verbal abuse underlies most domestic violence. Hostile language is dangerous to our health not only because of its destructive nature but because it so often escalates into physical violence. Learning the Art of Verbal Self Defense is learning how to create a system (in any environment) where you can diffuse hostile language as well as give the victim […]

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but building the new.

Non-Violent, Mature Relationships From the Heart!

Julie is a trained domestic violence victims advocate and facilitator of a Batterer’s Intervention Program in California. She joins to help victims and survivors to heal from domestic violence help survivors understand why their abuser abuses, and to help abusers stop their abusive behaviors. Non-violent, mature relationships include qualities of cohesiveness, acceptance and joy with […]

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Has trouble defining herself meaningfully

Just Like I Thought: I am a woman who…

My mother asked me to complete this sentence: “I am a woman who…”. And I am having a horrible time with it. I realize the exercise is to help me define myself, and I am fearful of doing that. What if I’m no one? Or worse, what if I’m no one special? I really want […]

Can't We Talk?

I don’t want him out of my reality, but if co-existing in a mutual reality means that I have to hide myself and rely on hoping that he’ll be nice to me, then any mutual reality between myself and my husband is going to end.


One hard lesson I want to learn and accept is that I must pursue things that are meaningful to me so I feel good when I accomplish something. Even if no one but me finds my pursuits meaningful, and even if no one ever praises me or gives me a cookie for pursuing them. The question is, what is meaningful to me?