Recent Posts

Red Door Productions introduces #TheDayItStarted as a prompt for abuse victims to tell about their earliest memory of domestic abuse.

The Day It Started

Red on Black Productions writes “This short film was inspired by [the tweet hashtags] #whyIstayed and #whyIleft…” I believe the day it started for me occurred two weeks into the relationship with my ex-husband, Will. I suspected that I was pregnant and went to Will’s barracks to let him know. He held a Jack & […]

Anyone experiencing repeated traumas as with domestic abuse can be triggered unexpectedly. Even so, identifying triggers leads us to better mental health.

Triggered And Angry

Recently, conversing with my fiance triggered an abusive and detrimental reaction. I threw up an emotional barrier, yelled violently, cried and became unwilling to continue talking at all. To say my behavior threw him off guard is an understatement. Jarimie looked at me in confusion and did not yell. Suddenly I realized I was the one behaving […]

The effects of abuse last longer than I hoped. I am healing from it, but memories continue to assault my mind. I just want to be healed. Now.

Nothing on My Mind – Memories of Abuse

I’m doing it again. I’m losing my mind in match-3 computer games that let me ignore unpleasant thoughts. I tried believing that playing those games relaxes my brain and that matching colored balls on Bubble Witch qualifies as a healthy, mindful activity. In reality, the games help me keep nothing on my mind. In thinking’s absence,  I can avoid asking questions […]

More Posts

Yellow Isn't For Cowards

Red Light Behaviors (<– previous post) This stinks. I’m sitting here bemoaning the fact that I have to think about the danger signs relating to my husband’s behavior (or anyone ‘s behavior, I guess). It’s scary because I’ve been through it before – I’m not imagining, I’m “re-magining” or living through it again in my mind. […]

Refresher

It’s a good idea to know what the enemy is. Verbal abuse, by nature, attempts to make us forget what we’re fighting. Here are some web pages that I like when I need to remember and acknowledge the truth: Narcissistic Abuse/Verbal Abuse How can I identify and respond to verbal abuse? Signs of Verbal Abuse […]

No Call, No Worry

It’s always harder for me to be quiet. I tend to want to let him know exactly how I feel in an effort to “punish” him for not doing what I wanted him to do. But where did I get the idea that sharing my thoughts and feelings was punishment for someone else?