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I feel that anyone could lethally wound me with a glance. I feel exposed to many elements of my mind; exposed and in danger, not exposed and protected. My fiance, Jarimie, wants to protect me when I feel vulnerable. But how can he protect me from myself? From my thoughts and fears? He cannot do […]

Intuition played a huge part in my escape from abuse. Listening to it saved me from homelessness too.

Today Is Better Than Dreadful Thanks to Intuition

Sometimes, dreadfulness happens to mostly-good people; and sometimes, pleasantness happens to mostly-rotten people. Always, the situation changes and sometimes it changes for the worst. However, if you’re connecting to helpful people, then tomorrow changes for the better. Your intuition turns the key to knowing who will help and who will hurt. My intuition fell silent […]

I worry my environment hinders my abilities. I want so much more peace for myself than I have right now. My patience with being patient is wearing thin.

The Homeless Chapter

I don’t know much. At least I know I don’t know much. Life takes twists and turns that seemed impossible only days before. Now, more than any other time in my life, I am uncertain what tomorrow brings. Over the past year and a half I’ve lived with my sister, my grandmother, my fiance and […]

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6-years-old and growing

One part of my plan to end the abuse is in dismanteling his public persona. No, I’m not going to go around town diminishing him as a man or husband. I’m not going to bad-mouth him to friends. I’m not going to be mean and nasty to combat his anger.

Better than "It hurts my feelings when you…"

A comment on the previous post helped me to realize that I’ve got to come up with a strategy for dealing with my husband that doesn’t include telling him that he’s hurt me. He doesn’t care. Or rather, he’s glad that I’m hurt because that means he has the upper hand. I’m ripe for travelling down […]

last year this time

Last Year

At the end of last year, before the separation, I wrote this: Words that once had meaning make no sense. My brain is screaming, “LOSER!” while a piece of me patiently waits for a better time. Do I need to DO something to bring it about? ‘Cause all I want to do now is sleep […]