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emotional intelligence includes many learnable skills

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is “street smarts,” as opposed to “book smarts” when speaking about emotional strength. Emotional intelligence accounts for a great deal of a person’s ability to navigate life effectively. We experience different levels of emotional intelligence based on our own life’s teachings and experiences. Learning to understand the five components of emotional intelligence will greatly […]

The Art of Verbal Self Defense

Verbal abuse underlies most domestic violence. Hostile language is dangerous to our health not only because of its destructive nature but because it so often escalates into physical violence. Learning the Art of Verbal Self Defense is learning how to create a system (in any environment) where you can diffuse hostile language as well as give the victim […]

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but building the new.

Non-Violent, Mature Relationships…from the heart!

Julie is a trained domestic violence victims advocate and facilitator of a Batterer’s Intervention Program in California. She joins to help victims and survivors to heal from domestic violence help survivors understand why their abuser abuses, and to help abusers stop their abusive behaviors. Non-violent, mature relationships include qualities of cohesiveness, acceptance and joy with […]

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How I Attempt to Control

I divert my attention trying to “get it all done.” This results in frustration, yelling (at myself or someone else), and getting nothing done. I try to force the kids to put the same amount of importance on things that I do.  Chores, homework, etc. … my priorities. Everything is my priority. I’m inflexible,seeking to […]

The Gentle, Other Voice

I am getting rid of some possessions that reflect “the old me” and keeping ones that project “who I am, was at heart, and always will be.” If something I own does not support the idea that I am “strong and vibrant”, then it is finding a new home. I am sitting at the table, thinking […]


In the Army, we did assessments after training events called After Action Reviews (AARs) to help us appreciate the great, identify the bad, and determine a better course of action for the future. In the past, I would probably have spent yesterday and today buying stuff to make up for my tantrum. Possibly to the […]