Staying in Abusive Relationships
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Hungry Angry Lonely Tired = Out of Control
Al-Anon taught me that if I’m Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, then I am more likely to screw up my emotional well-being. Of course, I was focused on alcoholism at the time, but I think that HALT will apply to my attempts to deal with abuse, too.
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Comment Spam
I was looking through the spam comments caught by akismet and NOT sent to me to approve. There are 32 of them collected in the past 10 days or so. Suddenly I thought about my husband’s comments to me. Most of them are spam, too. I’m hoping that I’ll learn to activate my brain’s spam
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You make me so MAD!!
I know that pausing to take control of my thoughts after he has said or done something “unbelievable,” “horrible,” or “unforgivable” may be extremely difficult. I’ve conditioned myself to skip over my own thoughts and run straight for the gold – the “gold” is my ability to react to him in a way that may…
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Dysfunctional Motivation
For now, I’m going to give myself a break. Yes, I know that the motivation is emotionally and mentally unhealthy. I’ve laid out reasons why I should NOT entertain the idea, and yet I haven’t talked myself out of embracing it.
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I KNEW He Cheated! I Just Don’t Care Anymore
I think I’m twisted, but for once, I don’t care. If twisted thinking gets me off my ass and away from convenience food, then I’ll use it for all its worth.
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I’m Home
I realized that the security I once felt there was imagined. The men I knew there were only parts of their whole. I never realized the things that went on when I wasn’t looking. My protectors were liars and frauds. Is it possible to remember the men I once knew now that I know I…
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Lies and Verbal Abuse
I checked my page on types of verbal abuse and realized that Patricia Evans did not list “LYING” as a type of verbal abuse. For a second, I thought I had discovered a glaring omission in my heroine’s thinking. But it only lasted a second. I realized that lying is not a form of verbal…
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Between You and Me, I’m No Expert On Abuse
I am writing this blog BECAUSE I don’t know how to successfully “cope” with abuse. Not a clue. Everything I’ve tried to do, say or become has either increased the abuse or merely postponed it to another time, and that includes everything I did, said or became before I even knew it was abuse.
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Abuse Makes Me Wanna Be a Banshee
I read that victims of abuse are not abused because of who we are. We’re abused because of who we are NOT. I am NOT whatever person my husband wants me to be or thinks I should be. And because I am not (an can NEVER BE) a person who my husband has imagined, the…
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Stop Saying ‘It Makes Me Sick’
My sister tells me to stop saying “It makes me sick” because she’s afraid “it” (the abuse) really will make me sick. Once upon a time, “It makes me sick” was a kind of heart-sickness, an expression. Now I really am sick. The first time I realized that I really felt physically sick because of
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