Staying in Abusive Relationships
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Portrait of My Abuser: The Devil Only I See
You will never see my abuser as I do. He would not dare act these ways in front of you. If he did, then you would know I am NOT the crazy one. Game over.
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Abusers React to Boundaries Poorly
Abusers Will Feel a Certain Way How do abusive people typically react to you enforcing your boundaries? It is likely to make them angry. Why? In essence, your boundary cuts them off from the core of you, and abusive people do not like that at all. Their control over you relies on you being open
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Better than "It hurts my feelings when you…"
A comment on the previous post helped me to realize that I’ve got to come up with a strategy for dealing with my husband that doesn’t include telling him that he’s hurt me. He doesn’t care. Or rather, he’s glad that I’m hurt because that means he has the upper hand. I’m ripe for travelling down
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Gems
Although I have skirted the outposts of my personality, my nature, previously, I am now going into me full force. I am reaching in deep and pulling out the treasures. I am finding the jewels inside of myself. I’m so excited about the gems I’m unearthing that I can’t quite understand why YOU don’t want to
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Randomly K's Story
Thankfully, I have found Randomly K’s Journal Entry! It’s posted on the site along with Amber’s and Mike’s. Thank you so much for sharing your story, RK. “It” happens just as you describe it. So often I’ve done something against my better judgment because I thought it would make him happy. What a joke. He
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Fear
Fear is a powerful force; it holds us tightly making it too hard to breathe, to feel, or to see a brighter future. Keep in mind that your fear, although probably wisely created out of necessity, is YOURS. You choose when to let it go. My first step in letting go of my fear was
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Yellow Isn't For Cowards
Red Light Behaviors (<– previous post) This stinks. I’m sitting here bemoaning the fact that I have to think about the danger signs relating to my husband’s behavior (or anyone ‘s behavior, I guess). It’s scary because I’ve been through it before – I’m not imagining, I’m “re-magining” or living through it again in my mind.
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Red Light Behavior
The very first time I met my therapist, she asked me to do an activity categorizing what behaviors were acceptable to me. “Red Light” behaviors are the worst most-intolerable and “Green Light” behaviors are tolerable. “Yellow Light” behaviors are, of course, cautionary ones. All of the behaviors relate to what someone else is doing, not
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Wasting Life on Abuse: No Call, No Worry
It’s always harder for me to stay quiet. I want to let him know exactly how I feel to punish him. But where did I get the idea that sharing my thoughts and feelings was punishment for my husband?
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How I Attempt to Control: Is This Codependency?
I divert my attention trying to “get it all done.” This results in frustration, yelling (at myself or someone else), and getting nothing done. I try to force the kids to put the same amount of importance on things that I do. Chores, homework, etc. … my priorities. Everything is my priority. I’m inflexible, seeking
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