Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Domestic Violence Problems


  • Refresher

    It’s a good idea to know what the enemy is. Verbal abuse, by nature, attempts to make us forget what we’re fighting. Here are some web pages that I like when I need to remember and acknowledge the truth: Narcissistic Abuse/Verbal Abuse How can I identify and respond to verbal abuse? Signs of Verbal Abuse

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  • The Rolling Stones Are Co-Dependent

    Actually, whoever wrote The Beast of Burden sounds co-dependent to me. Here’s my interpretation of this fabulous song. This guy says he’ll never be her “beast of burden”, meaning to me that he’s not going to carry her load for her – he’s his own man with his own burdens. All he wants is for

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  • My Temper Tantrum and How I’ll Handle Anger in the Future

    I threw a temper tantrum I used abusive anger. I’m ashamed of myself, but instead of wallowing in that, I want to fix it. Here’s how I’m going to do that.

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  • Abusive Nonsense

    Abusive Nonsense

    “He’s acting like his FATHER!” – Now if those words cross my mind, I will think, “This abusive nonsense is what I’m fighting, not my son.”

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  • Distraction as a Method to Get Out of Trouble

    Distraction as a Method to Get Out of Trouble

    Don’t ask “Did you do this?” if you already know the answer. Doing so allows for confusion and distraction which is a form of verbal abuse.

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  • Should-ing on Myself Diminishes My Peace

    Should-ing on Myself Diminishes My Peace

    Instead of habitually berating myself and buying make-up presents for the boys, I decided to objectively and constructively analyze yesterday’s temper tantrum.

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  • Angst

    Angst

    I could lose the day to regret, or I could use the experience as a learning tool. I’m not a monster.

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  • Setting Boundaries

    A boundary is a blueprint of a plan for you to follow. It is not an order given to someone else. No one, not soldiers, not cops, not abusers, not even victims of abuse, must follow orders that go against their morality and the core of who we are.

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  • Turning Inward: Trying to Fix What Isn’t Broken

    “While I know well the wish to somehow make things work, obsessively turning inward, demanding of our selves a new or better way to end the abuse, in actuality we are ‘allying with the abuser’ and abusing ourselves. This unholy alliance is what keeps the abuse going — his infiltration of our thoughts and feelings,

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  • How to Stop Panicking Over What May Happen

    How to Stop Panicking Over What May Happen

    Is it possible for me to stop panicking over what may happen? I’m panicking now. My internal panic machine wants to take over. It is hard to slow down or think. The source of the panic is my fear of what may happen when Will comes home. All good panics have, at their root, an unknowable, unanswerable question. Hence, the

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