When I realized that what happening in my family was abusive (and began writing this blog), I was tormented by the thought that it was too late for my older son. I thought and worried constantly about Marc’s behavior and wondered if my son was destined to be an abuser.
However, I am beginning to think differently on this matter.
My son exhibits qualities vastly different from my husband’s after an event like this has occurred. He has always willing to apologize, not just with words designed to worm out, but with words exhibiting a true desire to make things right. Even before I realized the abuse in my home, Marc and I were able to overcome what, unbeknownst to us at the time, were abusive incidents.
I believe Marc, with support and guidance, will overcome his abusive teachings. Nevertheless, “He’s acting like his FATHER!” is a thought that, when it hits me, seems like the end of the world. Or, at least it did. Now when those words cross my mind, I’m going to think, “This abusive nonsense is what I’m fighting, not my son.”
In other words, I’ll detach. With time, I’ll more easily detach from my husband, too.
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