Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.


  • Crazy-Making In Short

    Crazy-making is your abuser’s ability to throw you off balance and keep you teetering. Abusers accomplish this by saying one thing and then swearing they said the opposite or didn’t say it at all, by talking the talk but not walking the walk, by claiming that you are crazy and unbalanced, etc. If you’re a…


  • Silenced

    This is how it feels to live with a verbal abuser. Nothing I say or do is of my own choosing. He assigns motives to me…some good and some bad depending on his mood, and tomorrow, he could change his mind. Nothing I say or do is said or done for the reasons I give.…


  • Anonymity Compromised

    Anonymity Compromised

    My husband found my website and blog. I figured he already had found them, but I suppose he just wasn’t interested or didn’t make the connection between what he saw me doing at home and what was going online…or whatever. At first he was angry, but now he isn’t. At least, that’s what he says,…


  • Thinking About It

    The idea to make a website documenting the verbal abuse and my reactions/thoughts relating to it came to me around the time I realized it was happening – about October or November of last year (2008). I never hid the fact that I was making a website about verbal abuse from my husband. In fact,…


  • Mr. Nice Guy

    Mr. Nice Guy

    One of the hardest parts of living in this abusive situation is knowing that “Mr. Nice Guy” will be replaced by “the other one” – the guy that is angry, loud, mean, insulting, and abusive. I’ve learned that by switching back and forth at will, my abuser successfully keeps me in a state of alert.…


  • Financial Power Transfer. Abuse at Its Best.

    Financial Power Transfer. Abuse at Its Best.

    Ever so often my abusive husband throws a hissy fit and takes over paying the bills. I don’t care WHO pays the bills, but it is always always a big fight.


  • What Is Real?

    What Is Real?

    How do people know when they’re being authentic? How do people overcome fear? How can I be sure the verbal abuse is real? Why is it so hard to believe?


  • He Will Hurt Me, So I Stay? Makes No Sense. This is a Mind Fuck.

    He Will Hurt Me, So I Stay? Makes No Sense. This is a Mind Fuck.

    On the other hand, it is painful and hard for me to remember that he would, could and has hurt me physically – but it’s happened three times now. Nothing that will create a bruise where it will show. Something that he can deny to himself, to me, to anyone. Something that he ultimately blames…


  • Goals For Me Implanted Through Brainwashing

    Goals For Me Implanted Through Brainwashing

    By 1998, I didn’t even know what I wanted for me anymore. His goals for me became my goals for myself, inserted neat and clean in my mind with brainwashing.