Staying in Abusive Relationships
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Diverting My Attention: If I Think It’s ME I Won’t See It’s YOU
Diverting my attention from what he was doing by exploiting my vulnerabilities was par for the course. He expertly distracted me from emotional abuse, turning my suspicions that he was hurting me to the idea that I only hurt myself.
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Calm
No more arguing today, and it’s 7:30 pm. We did talk more today since my last post, so the “no more arguing” bit is significant. We talked about how he is concerned about my abuse accusations. He said, “I don’t know what verbal abuse is, and I don’t know when I’m doing it. Judging from
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Treating Him Like a Science Project–Or a Lab Rat
Okay, I remember the advice. Science project (Observing But Not Participating In My Abuse). Calming down, not to go after it again though. I’m going to wait. And in the meantime, I’m going to write. Maybe I’ll do a search for scientific method worksheets. 😉 Actually, in addition to finding a worksheet and perhaps some
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Nope, Not It At All
I wrote “He felt (?) that I was attacking his method, his way of thinking, his way of organizing data…” Nope. He told me I was wrong about that. Evidently I was and am wrong about much more than that. Including the fact that I filled in a police report BEFORE telling him I was
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Arguing Over Nothing
First argument, but I called a break. He was as unhappy about the argument as I was, I think. I’m writing to try to decipher when it started going south and why. I was first feeling frustrated when he was talking about his Priorities 1,2 and 3. Priority 1: our oldest son; Priority 2: me
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Today is the Day!
Yes, Will returns home today. I hope to find him changed for the better. I am different, but I am not certain he will see it that way. Yesterday I pulled out the Tarot cards, asking for guidance. A spiritual “heads-up!”, if you will. I look at that Tarot as a tool to help me
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Refresher
It’s a good idea to know what the enemy is. Verbal abuse, by nature, attempts to make us forget what we’re fighting. Here are some web pages that I like when I need to remember and acknowledge the truth: Narcissistic Abuse/Verbal Abuse How can I identify and respond to verbal abuse? Signs of Verbal Abuse
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Growing Up Co-Dependent
They could love me when they were happy, so it was my job to make them happy. I dare say, that is not any child’s job. It’s not anyone’s job. As a side-effect, I was happy when they were happy, and it was a tragedy when they were not happy. I grew up in the…
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My Boundaries Keep Others Out and Me In
I’ve been rather silent the past few days because of two things. One, another conversation with my husband in which I “lost it”. Two, my older son completely blew my mind with something he did. Not a good thing. Usually I would have immediately vomited these things onto this blog for all the world to
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My Temper Tantrum and How I’ll Handle Anger in the Future
I threw a temper tantrum I used abusive anger. I’m ashamed of myself, but instead of wallowing in that, I want to fix it. Here’s how I’m going to do that.
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