Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Mind Games: Use Them To Detach From Domestic Abuse

When I wondered how to detach from domestic abuse, basic training for the Army came to mind. I handled the mind games of the drill sergeants by detaching myself from them. I was ready for this because, going in, I knew that basic training was a mind game. I knew they were treating us a certain way for a reason – to break our spirit so we were easier to control and to embed the Army Way into our psyche.

The drill sergeants broke us down so we would all be the same soldier – predictable, reliable, controllable, etc.

Living in abuse takes a well thought out strategy. It's not good to be surprised and thrown off balance all the time.

In fact, I wanted to be The Same Soldier. I knew that to become the best that I could be (for the Army), I would have to break down and go along. But I didn’t want to lose my Self.

So, I separated myself from the soldier. I had to remove my heart and soul from the basic training situation, and allow them to brainwash me, with my consent, but only brainwash a portion of my thinking – the thinking that became the soldier.

To protect myself from emotional injury, I learned to remove myself from the reality surrounding me. Yes, we were rolling around in wet sawdust at 4:30 am with temperatures in the low 40s.

But from my place outside of myself, I was able to laugh at the situation. It was ridiculous. We looked like idiots for doing what those sergeants told us to do, and those yelling men looked like idiots making us do it.

The situation is similar with my husband. When I remove my spirit from the words/ideas he’s trying to embed into me, he can’t touch me. He can’t make me believe. He can’t upset me.

He’s already brainwashed a portion of my mind. A big portion. I’m taking my brain back. I will make it impossible for him to fool me again. I will use the ability to observe from outside of myself to detach from domestic abuse, too.

I’m floating around the room, watching him act like an idiot. I don’t give away that I’m not in my body – that I’m detached from the abuse. And the best part? He doesn’t even know I’m not there.

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