Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Personal Boundaries

  • Abusers React to Boundaries Poorly

    Abusers React to Boundaries Poorly

    Abusers Will Feel a Certain Way How do abusive people typically react to you enforcing your boundaries? It is likely to make them angry. Why? In essence, your boundary cuts them off from the core of you, and abusive people do not like that at all. Their control over you relies on you being open…


  • Better than "It hurts my feelings when you…"

    A comment on the previous post helped me to realize that I’ve got to come up with a strategy for dealing with my husband that doesn’t include telling him that he’s hurt me. He doesn’t care. Or rather, he’s glad that I’m hurt because that means he has the upper hand. I’m ripe for travelling down…


  • Gaslighting Abuse Means War for My Heart & Mind

    Gaslighting Abuse Means War for My Heart & Mind

    Perhaps I am so important to him that he feels we should be as one mind. Unfortunately, this thought seems to translate into we should be of his mind and “my mind should disappear and stop causing so many problems.


  • Couples’ Counseling Does Not Help Abusive Relationships

    Couples’ Counseling Does Not Help Abusive Relationships

    I want him to take responsibility for our problems as he expects me to do & expects as much of himself as he expects of me. I want equality in our marriage. However, I tend to agree with Kera who commented, “His response to your marriage counseling hardly seemed like he’s going to become a…


  • Mind Games: Use Them To Detach From Domestic Abuse

    Living in abuse takes a thought out strategy. It’s not good to be surprised and thrown off balance all the time. Could you turn your abuser into a lab rat?


  • Declaration of Freedom From Abuse

    This declaration of freedom from abuse states my boundaries. I’ll use the word “you” because I am unwilling to put up with verbal abuse from anyone anymore.


  • Angel Teaches Personal Boundaries

    Dear God, What can I do for Will? Listen to God closely and still the echoes in your heart, including those that you do not remember so well. Do not do for Will what it is you think you need. Be a pillar of strength and understanding, but do not mope for him. Don’t be…