Effects of Abuse
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Depression Relief, Delusions of Joy
Abuse came before Depression in my marriage, but when my Depression lifted (thanks Prozac) I entered another fantasy world.
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Goals For Me Implanted Through Brainwashing
By 1998, I didn’t even know what I wanted for me anymore. His goals for me became my goals for myself, inserted neat and clean in my mind with brainwashing.
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We Forgot to Scream
As I flipped through old journals to create Verbal Abuse Journals, I found a forgotten memory – an instance of physical abuse. How do you forget that?
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Walkin’ On Sunshine
The honeymoon periods found me full of life and energy, yet dreading the possibility that the honeymoon would end. Make hay while the sun shines, I suppose.
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We Had a Bad Day
First a Note Note from 2012: One of my greatest fears is that my behavior negatively affects my boys. Looking back on this journal entry makes that fear real. I know they’ve felt pain due to my yelling. I don’t always separate my frustrations with my relationship and myself from my frustrations with my children.…
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I’m Always Saying Something Stupid
I’d say I was lonely or tired or sad and he would get angry and tell me “You have it so fucking good! You don’t have a damn thing to complain about!”
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Hate-Hate Relationship
I tried to learn how to NOT respond to Will’s verbal abuse and nasty behavior, but sitting there and taking it was a response. He liked it, I think.
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Moody Depressed Alone
I’ve been so depressed & moody lately – I’ve been terrible. I either am so deeply in love that I can’t see, or else he is irritating the shit out of me.
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Pregnant & Worried About Money
I’m very concerned about investing the little money we have into bonds or CD’s or something. Will is holding out to buy CD’s, but we need $1000 just to start one of those! Why not invest in SOME way while we can? Oh well. I guess I should let him handle that for now. If…
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I Thought He Loved Me
Her mouth is half-blocked like her voice is slipping away, she’s sacrificing herself on a cross, there are vortexes sucking the little woman away, watery graves, naked and unprotected caught in a silent scream … I drew this image and still didn’t consciously realize I was stepping into an abusive relationship.
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