Abuse came before Depression in my marriage, but when my Depression lifted (thanks Prozac) I entered another fantasy world.
By 1998, I didn’t even know what I wanted for me anymore. His goals for me became my goals for myself, inserted neat and clean in my mind with brainwashing.
First a Note Note from 2012: One of my greatest fears is that my behavior negatively affects my boys. Looking back on this journal entry makes that fear real. I know they’ve felt pain due to my yelling. I don’t always separate my frustrations with my relationship and myself from my frustrations with my children.
I’d say I was lonely or tired or sad and he would get angry and tell me “You have it so fucking good! You don’t have a damn thing to complain about!”
VerbalAbuseJournals.com is mostly inactive on social media these days. But you can find Kellie Jo Holly, now Kellie Jo Close, in various places:
We recommend you follow Domestic Abuse Survivor Help for relationship abuse help. Get in touch with DASH at: