Effects of Abuse
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Depression Relief, Delusions of Joy
Abuse came before Depression in my marriage, but when my Depression lifted (thanks Prozac) I entered another fantasy world.
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Goals For Me Implanted Through Brainwashing
By 1998, I didn’t even know what I wanted for me anymore. His goals for me became my goals for myself, inserted neat and clean in my mind with brainwashing.
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We Had a Bad Day
First a Note Note from 2012: One of my greatest fears is that my behavior negatively affects my boys. Looking back on this journal entry makes that fear real. I know they’ve felt pain due to my yelling. I don’t always separate my frustrations with my relationship and myself from my frustrations with my children.
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I’m Always Saying Something Stupid
I’d say I was lonely or tired or sad and he would get angry and tell me “You have it so fucking good! You don’t have a damn thing to complain about!”
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I Thought He Loved Me
Her mouth is half-blocked like her voice is slipping away, she’s sacrificing herself on a cross, there are vortexes sucking the little woman away, watery graves, naked and unprotected caught in a silent scream … I drew this image and still didn’t consciously realize I was stepping into an abusive relationship.
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