Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

About Relationship Abuse


  • Loveseat

    There have been no more fights between Will and I. We aren’t fighting. We have had a couple of discussions that were intense, yet they did not turn into fights. That is a good thing, and I’m grateful for it. That doesn’t mean there isn’t tension. There was one night where Will slept with me and

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  • XXOO

    I went to the group meeting yesterday and met several women. Some still in their abusive relationships and some have left; some were in my age range and some were very young women. Some were soldiers, some were civilians. The uniting factor was our experience, and our experiences were both “the same” and horrifyingly different.

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  • Distraction & Manipulation

    Distraction & Manipulation

    My husband accused our son of drinking Jack Daniels, but wanted to do nothing about it. I sense an ulterior motive to distract me from his abuse of me.

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  • Mispoken

    The first conversation about “us” we had involved him telling me that he had three priorities. One, getting Marc straightened out. Two, getting our marriage straightened out. Three, his career. He is a list maker. I expressed concern that by keeping items one and two separate in his mind, he may feel frustration. I also said that by

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  • Nothing Wrong With Me

    Nothing Wrong With Me

    Last night, Will blew up about my callousness in choosing my and the boys’ mental health and welfare over his career. He got ugly, but I stood up and said, “That’s it. I’m done with this conversation,” and remarkably, he pretty much quit (maybe because the boys were in the room). For whatever reason, he

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  • Red Flags

    Red Flags

    So, last December, there was a domestic violence incident at my home. The Army got wind of it in February (early March?) after Will had deployed. So now that he’s back, he’s required to do some sort of counseling. The Army social services (not state social services) interviewed me at that time. The man I

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  • It’s Ba-ack: Anxiety and Verbal Abuse

    It’s Ba-ack: Anxiety and Verbal Abuse

    Anxiety disorders are common side-effects of domestic abuse. If you feel like me, you could be developing anxiety yourself. Read this.

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  • Yesterday

    I didn’t write yesterday because it was so crappy. I still don’t want to write because this morning already started off on a bad note. Or bang, perhaps. 7:30 AM, Sunday morning, I hear banging on the walls. I ignore it, falling back to sleep only to wake up again in 5 minutes. I’m thinking

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  • Diverting My Attention: If I Think It’s ME I Won’t See It’s YOU

    Diverting My Attention: If I Think It’s ME I Won’t See It’s YOU

    Diverting my attention from what he was doing by exploiting my vulnerabilities was par for the course. He expertly distracted me from emotional abuse, turning my suspicions that he was hurting me to the idea that I only hurt myself.

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  • Calm

    No more arguing today, and it’s 7:30 pm. We did talk more today since my last post, so the “no more arguing” bit is significant. We talked about how he is concerned about my abuse accusations. He said, “I don’t know what verbal abuse is, and I don’t know when I’m doing it. Judging from

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