Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Staying in Abusive Relationships


  • Drive

    Drive. I’ve been single-minded for the past week, and I met a goal I had set for myself. I am so proud of myself! I have thought for the longest time that I “needed” an external motivation or a deadline to complete a project. In fact, I’ve spent lots and lots of time dying for

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Re-Feeling

    I think this recurrence of anxiety is what you call posttraumatic stress. It sucks. I almost took two of the Effexor I’m weaning myself from just to keep my heart from racing.

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Letting Go of Teen’s Choices After He’s Lived with Domestic Violence

    Letting Go of Teen’s Choices After He’s Lived with Domestic Violence

    However, I am entirely certain that letting go is the right thing to do. I must allow Marc to make his own choices and then face the consequences of those choices.

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • My Husband's Advice

    In the previous post, I mentioned that my husband had some input concerning the content of my blog First, let me tell you briefly about what’s happened since I was in panic mode over him reading these blog entries. Soon after finding my blog, he said that he would try to read them in order

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Crisis Writing

    Remember to Write the Good Things Too Not too long ago, I was talking to my sister about how I tend to reach out to other people when I’m embroiled in an emotional crisis, but as soon as things smooth out, the people who were my support stop hearing from me. Until the next crisis.

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Crazy-Making In Short

    Crazy-making is your abuser’s ability to throw you off balance and keep you teetering. Abusers accomplish this by saying one thing and then swearing they said the opposite or didn’t say it at all, by talking the talk but not walking the walk, by claiming that you are crazy and unbalanced, etc. If you’re a

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Angel-Speak Decoded

    Angel-Speak Decoded

    IF the souls of my unborn children were passed on to me BECAUSE they needed to “pass through” some sort of physical existence before going on to do better things, then I truly am blessed. And now I’m crying. It hurts so badly. Knowing I’ll know my children “later” is a sorry substitute for the…

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Cycle of Abuse Video

    I wish I knew how to explain all of this without sounding like a crybaby or that I’m blaming my abuser for everything. I really wish I could come across as someone who knew exactly what she was doing and knew exactly what she was talking about and had the answers for everything…not that I…

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Just Like I Thought: I am a woman who…

    Just Like I Thought: I am a woman who…

    My mother asked me to complete this sentence: “I am a woman who…”. And I am having a horrible time with it. I realize the exercise is to help me define myself, and I am fearful of doing that. What if I’m no one? Or worse, what if I’m no one special?

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Anonymity Compromised

    Anonymity Compromised

    My husband found my website and blog. I figured he already had found them, but I suppose he just wasn’t interested or didn’t make the connection between what he saw me doing at home and what was going online…or whatever. At first he was angry, but now he isn’t. At least, that’s what he says,

    +✢+✢+✢+