About Kellie Jo Holly

I Didn’t Know It Was Abuse

One morning, while applying waterproof mascara, I looked into my eyes and saw it. Nothing. My eyes didn’t shine or pop; there was no light. Where did I go? Where was my soul? Fiery hot tears boiled in the corners of my eyes and rolled down my cheeks leaving their tracks in the pink blush…
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Choosing to Stay in an Abusive Relationship

Choosing to stay in an abusive relationship is a valid choice. Despite the horrors of an abusive relationship, sometimes abused people choose to stay with their abuser. Staying doesn’t mean you’ll be happy, but sometimes staying for now or forever seems like the only thing you can do. Here are some possibilities of what can happen if you choose to…
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Flat-Lining in Domestic Abuse Recovery

Stephen Covey says to “live out of your imagination, not your history.” Depression, suicidal thoughts, hate, despair and hopelessness result when I live out of the mindset of my past. It’s as if he is abusing me all over again.
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Hindsight Can’t Help Me But Could Help You Understand Abuse

Hindsight shows me my mistakes in thinking. It shows me how my love for him blinded me. Maybe if you can see my hindsight before it happens to you, you’ll get OUT. I now understand that no choice he presented to me would end the abuse. I left the Army-abuse continued. Got pregnant-abuse continued. Doing…
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My Abusive Marriage Recap

While reorganizing this website, I came across some pages that don’t fit the site any longer. But I didn’t want to get rid of their brief synopses of the abuse suffered through the years. So I thought I’d add them to a brand new page and see if brevity works as well as a deep…
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Abuse Is Never Love But I Wanted It to Be

What I didn’t understand at the time was that if Will wanted to lash out at me, it did not matter what I said or did or how I said or did it. The purpose of yelling at me, accusing me of lying, telling me I was a horrid mother, insisting I was cheating and…
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#TheDayItStarted

Red Door Productions introduces #TheDayItStarted as a prompt for abuse victims to tell about their earliest memory of domestic abuse.
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Triggered & Angry – Healing from Domestic Abuse

Anyone experiencing repeated traumas as with domestic abuse can be triggered unexpectedly. Even so, identifying triggers leads us to better mental health because once we identify the triggers, we can stop them from hurting us.
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Nothing on My Mind – Memories of Abuse

The effects of abuse last longer than I hoped. I am healing from it, but memories continue to assault my mind. I just want to be healed. Now.
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Vulnerability

I feel that anyone could lethally wound me with a glance. I feel exposed to many elements of my mind; exposed and in danger, not exposed and protected. My fiance, Jarimie, wants to protect me when I feel vulnerable. But how can he protect me from myself?
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