Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

About Relationship Abuse


  • About Abuse

    About Abuse

    What Are Other Words for Abuse? You might hear abuse called many things: Who Is Abused? Abusers target any person (adult or child) regardless of age, race, religion, education level, IQ, economic background, culture, or community status. Who Gets It Worse, Men or Women? As a society, we tend to assume that abusers are men

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  • Dream World of Abuse in Relationships

    Dream World of Abuse in Relationships

    I wrote this some time ago, before leaving my abuser: Poe wrote, “All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” Perhaps his statement sheds light on why abuse is so difficult to describe, so difficult to recognize, end, and admit. Living in abuse, I know that nothing is real. Every

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  • Anniversary Anxiety Related to Domestic Violence

    Anniversary Anxiety Related to Domestic Violence

    February 1st last year was on Monday. Will and I had gone to court the Thursday before, and I had told the judge I agreed that he could see the boys. That first weekend, he wouldn’t take them because he hadn’t received his paperwork and was afraid that I would call the law on him

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  • Why Did It Take Me So Long to Leave My Abusive Marriage?

    Why Did It Take Me So Long to Leave My Abusive Marriage?

    HealthyPlace.com interviewed me about leaving an abusive marriage yesterday. It is now almost a year after I left my abuser, but before our divorce is final. I have some issues with the interview, and I’m not certain I delivered my message as clearly as I wanted. I want to use this post to clear up…

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  • Leaving But Not Yet Free

    Leaving But Not Yet Free

    He and I have children together. I am connected to him for the rest of my life, through them. Although our vows to love, honor and cherish fell by the wayside, “for better or worse, ’til death do we part” holds strong. Some promises can’t be taken back. I wish I could say I was all right with

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  • Verbal Abuse PSA

    Verbal Abuse PSA

    These verbal abuse PSAs (public service announcements) shows the damage verbal abuse can do to a person and what verbal abuse sounds like. Corinthians 13:4-8 New International Version (NIV) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not

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  • Leaving Hip-Hop Sounds A Lot Like Leaving Abuse

    Leaving Hip-Hop Sounds A Lot Like Leaving Abuse

    Yes, this is Eminem’s song “25 to Life” and Marc tells me it’s about Eminem leaving Hip-Hop, which it very well may be. But it’s about something else, too. In case you don’t like Eminem, I copied the lyrics below the song so you don’t have to listen to it. I don’t think she understands

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  • I Lived a Fairy Tale During Domestic Abuse

    I Lived a Fairy Tale During Domestic Abuse

    Once upon a time, I lived in a world of disapproval and fear. I listened to a man who demanded I make him happy, then grew angrier when I could not. I thought something was wrong with me, so I sought to change who I was to become more pleasing to that man. But as I changed

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  • In Isolation

    In Isolation

    During my marriage, I lived in isolation. I knew people outside of my home and sometimes shared specific experiences concerning my ex-husband with them. But somehow, I managed to keep most of the pain and embarrassment concerning my family’s truths buried deep inside. So deeply were they buried that I was able to keep them

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  • Detaching from My Abuser: Hold and Release

    Detaching from My Abuser: Hold and Release

    There must be something in the air. My mood is so serious, like a rain-filled cloud threatening to rain on my parade. Although I feel in my gut that I’m moving in the right direction, I’m getting stronger, finding out who I am and what I like (and don’t), … there’s something heavily sad about

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