During My Abusive Marriage
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Goals For Me Implanted Through Brainwashing
By 1998, I didn’t even know what I wanted for me anymore. His goals for me became my goals for myself, inserted neat and clean in my mind with brainwashing.
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We Forgot to Scream
As I flipped through old journals to create Verbal Abuse Journals, I found a forgotten memory – an instance of physical abuse. How do you forget that?
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Walkin’ On Sunshine
The honeymoon periods found me full of life and energy, yet dreading the possibility that the honeymoon would end. Make hay while the sun shines, I suppose.
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We Had a Bad Day
First a Note Note from 2012: One of my greatest fears is that my behavior negatively affects my boys. Looking back on this journal entry makes that fear real. I know they’ve felt pain due…
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I’m Always Saying Something Stupid
I’d say I was lonely or tired or sad and he would get angry and tell me “You have it so fucking good! You don’t have a damn thing to complain about!”
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It Will Be Better When… Oh. My Bad. No, It Won’t.
One sign of abuse is if you keep thinking “It Will Be Better When….” (when we have a baby, the kids go to school, we move, the kids go to college, etc.)
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Hate-Hate Relationship
I tried to learn how to NOT respond to Will’s verbal abuse and nasty behavior, but sitting there and taking it was a response. He liked it, I think.
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Detaching from an Alcoholic
Al-Anon is helping me to detach from Will’s drinking, but I’m not liking it too much. I feel responsible for making him well and happy so he can be NICE.
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Try to Be Nice
Note from 2012: We lived apart for two months in 1994. It was no honeymoon period, that’s for sure. I believe Will abused me during this period to confuse me and keep me on my…
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Skipping Work – Fatigue, Inability to Concentrate and Irritability
Skipping work by abused women (& men) costs corps. & the govt. millions of dollars annually, plus financial & emotional cost to the victims. But with symptoms stemming from verbal and emotional abuse, the only…