Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

During My Abusive Marriage


  • Just Like I Thought: I am a woman who…

    My mother asked me to complete this sentence: “I am a woman who…”. And I am having a horrible time with it. I realize the exercise is to help me define myself, and I am…

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  • Anonymity Compromised

    My husband found my website and blog. I figured he already had found them, but I suppose he just wasn’t interested or didn’t make the connection between what he saw me doing at home and…

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  • Thinking About It

    The idea to make a website documenting the verbal abuse and my reactions/thoughts relating to it came to me around the time I realized it was happening – about October or November of last year…

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  • Change Through Resistance Feels Like a Fight

    Maybe it hurts because it’s supposed to hurt. He meant to hurt me. “Goodbye and good luck.” I think he meant to threaten me, too. The “good luck” part was not lovingly said, you know.…

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  • I Just Don’t Trust Him

    Maybe I’m being too cynical. Maybe he really does want to improve our communication; maybe he really does want to fix “our” problem. Maybe I really should just “get over” my trust issues and let…

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  • Abuse Is a Web

    Making verbalabusejournals.com is a healing process for me. Writing the pages, updating my entries (both past and present), sharing resources that have helped me…all of it serves to remind me that even now I struggle…

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  • On Hold For Military Investigation

    Right now, we’re in the middle of a military investigation about domestic violence. It couldn’t have come at a worse time, but is the result of the report I made back in December 2008. Why…

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  • I Wish I Wasn’t Sending This Email

    I wish you could take responsibility for the things you do and say ALL of the time – not only when the chips are down and your career or your marriage. You only seem to…

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  • Top 8 Signs It’s Time To Leave Your Marriage

    Journaling one day, I conversed with Big Me, the part of me that connects directly to God and can see the big picture. Here’s what came of it. I wrote: I wonder how long I’ll…

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  • Couples’ Counseling Does Not Help Abusive Relationships

    Couples’ Counseling Does Not Help Abusive Relationships

    I want him to take responsibility for our problems as he expects me to do & expects as much of himself as he expects of me. I want equality in our marriage. However, I tend…

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