Journaling one day, I conversed with Big Me, the part of me that connects directly to God and can see the big picture. Here’s what came of it.
I wrote: I wonder how long I’ll be able to go on with abuse at the forefront of my mind. At some point, it will truly exhaust me. How will I know if it’s time to cut out of my marriage? How will I know if I need to continue healing on my own? Or when it is fruitless to try to force Will to stop his part in this? How will I know if it’s time to leave?
Hey, Big Me, I’m talking to You. Signs that it’s time to leave the marriage?
Big Me said: You don’t really want me to answer that question.
I wrote: No, I suppose I don’t want it, but I think I need you to answer me. Please, tell me: When is it time to let go of this marriage?
Big Me said:
- When you cannot hear your angels, your intuition or your heart.
- When you do not write or draw or express your truth in any way.
- When you are seeing darkness in the middle of the day.
- When no one wants to listen to you because you encourage them to do things you will not do.
- When you cannot bear the sound of his footsteps.
- When you feel as if everyone would be better off without your crazy ass self.
- When you feel dead, your eyes are puffy and you have headaches from all the cry-snot you create.
- When you feel all hope is lost.
Those are signs that it is time to leave your marriage.