Making verbalabusejournals.com is a healing process for me. Writing the pages, updating my entries (both past and present), sharing resources that have helped me…all of it serves to remind me that even now I struggle in the web of abuse.
I sometimes feel like a butterfly re-cocooned in spidery fibers waiting to be the main course. But, at the same time, I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
There is a possibility that the Army will force my husband into counseling, and the Army’s orders create the light I see for him. Maybe as he unwillingly follows the light the Army mandates for him, the light at the end of my tunnel will shine brighter.
I must remember that my light is separate from his light. It is still my hope that we come out of this together, but I no longer hope that we both follow the same light. Creating the website is showing me that it is important that we each go our own way, even if those paths separate.
I have to be me and will end up where Spirit wants me, not where my husband wants me.