Staying in Abusive Relationships
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Some Things Differ
Hmph. I guess I am the one who must stop living my life the way I want to live it. He’s the more important one. His opinion is the one that counts. The sooner I get that through my thick head, the happier he will let me be.
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Accepting Kittens for Who They Are Is Easy (Not So Much for Husbands)
One major difference between kittens and husbands is that I don’t expect kittens to change for me. I don’t seem to need evidence that a kitten “loves me.” Why do I expect my husband to prove he loves me by changing? Why do I need anyone to prove their love to me, for that matter?
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Wish in One Hand…What Goes in the Other?
I must stop wishing him to “feel the way I feel” because in order for him to feel like me, I have to act like him. I don’t care if he feels like me or not. I feel like me, and that is becoming enough.
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Resisting Persuasion: AKA How to Verbally Abuse Someone
WHAT? I asked myself why “resisting persuasion” and “verbal abuse tactics” were one and the same. The only logical explanation that I can currently come up with is that he uses these tactics because he feels that I am trying to persuade HIM into thinking or doing something that he doesn’t want to do.
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Can't We Talk?
I don’t want him out of my reality, but if co-existing in a mutual reality means that I have to hide myself and rely on hoping that he’ll be nice to me, then any mutual reality between myself and my husband is going to end.
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at least
i am no longer a mess but i may be becoming a new kind of crazy. hazy. unpredictable. but no longer unfortunate. no longer in ruins. edging out of the confusion i dare look to a horizon i didn’t notice before. like the old horizon, there is nothing discernible there. nothing special. unlike the old…
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I See the Best in You
And I remember that he paused, maybe only for half a second, but as if he realized how crazy this argument was. As if, in that half second, he came face to face with the realization that he was behaving erratically and irrationally.
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It's too hard
My thoughts hurt. My heart aches. My body is tired. I’m breaking into tears on the outside, but breaking into pieces on the inside. This is too hard. I want to give up even caring if I’m in an unhealthy relationship or not. But I won’t because once you’ve seen the truth, there’s no going…
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Gaslighting Abuse Means War
Perhaps I am so important to him that he feels we should be as one mind. Unfortunately, this thought seems to translate into we should be of his mind and “my mind should disappear and stop causing so many problems.
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I Am Hoping: This Is Not A Valid Strategy to End Abuse
Hope can be a wonderful feeling leading to positive actions and thoughts, miracles, and even the motivation we need to propel ourselves forward. But in this abusive situation, hope is anxiety-ridden. It’s become exactly the opposite of what hope is meant to be.