Staying in Abusive Relationships
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Grateful
You are the only one of my family members unlucky enough to see first-hand how my husband treats me because he does the same thing to you; you are the only other person he has ever revealed his “other side” to without shame or remorse. I hate that for you.
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You Need Help — It’s Not My Problem That You Hate Men
My abuser tells me ‘You need help!’ but refuses to seek help for our marriage. As usual, it’s all my fault. But now I know better.
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Or Not.
“You are a good person. I wish you would stop analyzing every thought you have – it has GOT to be emotionally draining. You already know what is right and what is wrong. You shouldn’t have to think about it every step of the way…Stop analyzing the decisions that revolve around the basic nature of…
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Hostile Take-Over
Abuse of any sort is a hostile takeover. He’s there, everywhere you turn, every thought you think must first go through the filter “Is it okay to do this? Is it okay to say this? Am I going to start trouble if I go ahead with this?” It’s enough to make the sanest person crazy.…
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Sex and Emotional Abuse
Today the following entry amazes me. I wrote the truth. I drew the truth. My unconscious mind knew he abused me and I knew I walked a dark path. But I went down it anyway. I didn’t know anything about emotional abuse. I wish someone had told me when I was young. From 1992 Journal Entry: “Maybe…
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Selfish
I am not willing to blame what I don’t like about myself on any abusive relationships I have tolerated during my lifetime. My marriage has been mentally, emotionally and verbally abusive; although that fact is saddening, it is not a “reason” to continue cultivating the bad habits and faults I’ve developed in response to it.…
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Drive
Drive. I’ve been single-minded for the past week, and I met a goal I had set for myself. I am so proud of myself! I have thought for the longest time that I “needed” an external motivation or a deadline to complete a project. In fact, I’ve spent lots and lots of time dying for…
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Re-Feeling
I think this recurrence of anxiety is what you call posttraumatic stress. It sucks. I almost took two of the Effexor I’m weaning myself from just to keep my heart from racing.
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Letting Go of Teen’s Choices After He’s Lived with Domestic Violence
However, I am entirely certain that letting go is the right thing to do. I must allow Marc to make his own choices and then face the consequences of those choices.