The image you see here shows my state of mind soon after our wedding. The colors show brightly enough, the flowers are rather pretty. But the women undergo sad transitions. The signs of abuse are here, hidden by brightly colored flowers.
The pregnant woman on the top mirrors the vase – an object. The woman in the water jar is drowning while holding onto life (the flower in bloom).
I call it “Trophy Wife” because a friend of my husband’s analyzed it as such. His words struck a cord in me…but I didn’t act on it.
The trophy wife has flowers growing out of her head. Are those my own thoughts being pushed out of my mind?
The drowning woman is trying to breathe air through the stems of the flowers, but the flower stems only want water. I’m wanting Will to be my air, but he’s more interested in being the water that silences me.
My heart and soul knew I was dying a slow death of Self. Despite the signs of fertility shown by the eggs (my youth), the underlying message is death (XXX).
Abuse began to kill me in 1991. It almost succeeded years later when prayed for death so my children and husband could be happy.
Blinded by loyalty, commitment, optimism and hope, I stayed in my abusive marriage. Like so many others, I ignored the signs of abuse because I loved him.
Related page in My Story of Abuse at Sex and Emotional Abuse
Ending an Abusive Relationship
Promise Me A Rose Garden
Anniversary Anxiety Related to Domestic Violence