Category: Staying in Abusive Relationships

Coming Apart – Losing Personal Boundaries

I laid bare the last protected areas of my soul in hope that he could understand me. I just knew if he understood me, the arguments would end.
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Trophy Wife – Foretells the Story of Abuse

When I drew her, I thought she was the water giving life to the flowers. I now know that water symbolically represents emotions and she is drowning in emotions that have nowhere to go. That vase is solid. It’s not going to spill or break. There is no outlet for what she feels. There’s no…
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Sobriety Fixes Nothing

Drinking only lowers inhibitions – it lets you be “more you” and gives the abuser permission to abuse.
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I’m Hoping The Abuse Will Resolve Itself

Hope is wonderful when you wish for it not to rain on a picnic. Hope is grand for tossing the dice. Hope does not work when you want to end domestic abuse.
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Observing, Not Participating In, My Abuse

Therefore, I am finding that I am an emotional chameleon. I must learn to turn off my emotions and the thought train they trigger when I recognize abuse to protect myself and begin “observation mode”. This is not going to work for the long haul. I do not want to live my life connecting and…
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Public Sector Counseling at DSS

She has been wonderful! I’ve been to her three times, and each time she was able to point out a valuable issue for me to examine. Issues that are MINE, not his. She’s teaching me to think about myself, what I want, what I see for myself in the future. The last meeting, she asked…
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Set Personal Boundaries

I Didn’t Understand Personal Boundaries No one ever pointed out to me that we each have personal boundaries. I knew when I didn’t like someone standing too close to me, but the idea that individuals can and do set emotional boundaries confounded me. I do set boundaries with friends, strangers, family members…I mean, I don’t…
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Forced Counseling for the Abuser

I’m not saying you and I have no faults, but when it comes to abuse, we victims have NO RESPONSIBILITY for the abuse or the abuser’s actions and words. In my opinion, if my husband cannot (or will not) stop the abuse, then me trying to be a “better wife” is pointless.
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Named the Type of Verbal Abuse He Used Out Loud

If you find that naming the type of abuse out loud escalates the abuse, then please be smarter than me. For goodness sake, STOP SAYING IT OUT LOUD! But please, DO name the type of abuse in your head. It will keep you sane and sharp AND give you something to think instead of whatever…
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Six Sessions of Individual Counseling

I received six sessions of individual counseling through Military One Source. It was only six sessions because my insurance offered them with no referral. When I go back to private counseling, I’ll need a referral. What I Hoped to Accomplish: I wanted someone to validate my experience. I wanted to become more informed about how…
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