Staying in Abusive Relationships
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You Can’t Make Your Abuser Abuse You
You can’t make your abuser abuse you. The responsibility for abusing falls directly on the shoulders of the perpetrator, not the victim. Yet so many victims (me too!) want to somehow make the abuse “our…
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I Lived a Fairy Tale During Domestic Abuse
Once upon a time, I lived in a world of disapproval and fear. I listened to a man who demanded I make him happy, then grew angrier when I could not. I thought something was…
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Why Did I Stay in An Abusive Relationship?
Why did I stay in an abusive relationship for so long? For many reasons that seemed quite rational until after I left the abusive marriage. Here they are.
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Resisting Temptation & Codependency
I just stopped myself from doing something manipulative after seeing a youtube interview with Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman’s Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go.…
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The Desire to ‘Fix and Please’ Is Codependency
Quietone said that she remembers me saying my desire to “fix and please” plays a factor in the abuse. She is right. If I took down this site, it would be to please Will; the…
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Seek and Ye Shall Find
Will and I were unhappily married and I once mistakenly blamed him for every one of our missteps and evils. Although I thought I was trying to make him happy, I was really trying to…
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Codependency Makes Me Want to Fix Things for Them
My therapist presented an alternative solution, one that actually makes sense and would have cut out all the drama. She said that Marc’s feelings of guilt were HIS to deal with. It sounded harsh to…
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Codependency and My Darkness with an Apology at the End
I sent an email to his family revealing this blog. Accidentally. This post is now part of the book “My Abusive Marriage…and what happened when i left it.”
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Domestic Violence Hits Home: I Left Twice
Leaving my abusive marriage happened by surprise, but not unexpectedly. I knew I would leave, but I didn’t have it planned for when it happened.