Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Verbal Abuse Journals

Staying in Abusive Relationships

  • The Good Stuff

    “Releasing and healing parental and spousal emotional abuse and sexual abuse will do more for improving your diet and life than just about anything else.” ~from How To Naturally Beat Metabolic Syndrome I believe that statement is true (although I’m not spending money on the diet the site promotes!). As I unwrap layers and years of…

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  • Practice Being Me

    Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein said that “Behavioral patterns run deeper than love.” I understand completely what she means. Sometimes, during the heat of an argument with Will, the dialog running through my head was completely different from the words coming out of my mouth. Probably worse was that the rational and calm part of my…

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  • 6-years-old and growing

    One part of my plan to end the abuse is in dismanteling his public persona. No, I’m not going to go around town diminishing him as a man or husband. I’m not going to bad-mouth him to friends. I’m not going to be mean and nasty to combat his anger.

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  • My Support System Is My Foundation

    It’s all right that they don’t call ME. The fact that I have benefited and will continue to benefit from their wisdom, education and support is phenomenally important to me. I went from being someone stuck in isolation to being someone who knows who to call and when. More importantly, I learned that my husband’s…

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  • Happiness Makes Me Trust Him Too Much

    Happiness Makes Me Trust Him Too Much

    It’s late, and I promised myself a more normal schedule, so I’m headed to bed. BUT I also promised myself I’d post daily, so I’m racking my brain for something worthwhile to write. Worthwhile to whom? you may ask. Well, since “you” may or may not be here at all, I guess I’m looking for…

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  • What I Want

    I write a lot about what I DON’T want. It’s probably more valuable to think about what I DO want. So, here goes: I want a fulfilling, meaningful life that adds positive, active energy to the world.

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  • Why I’m Staying In My Abusive Marriage

    I will be doing a lot of work in the realm of codependency, as well as finding solutions to dealing with my husband’s abusive techniques. It takes two participants to play this sick game we’ve got going on in my home. What will happen when I simply stop playing?

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  • I’m Staying

    I made a monumental decision: I’m staying in my marriage.

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  • Waiting for a Hero

    I’m feeling so shitty; I want to stop feeling. I want to stop thinking. I want to stop.

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  • My Buttons Get Pushed – But I Control My Reactions

    I’m reading a book1 in which the authors identify three common ways people think when confronted with button-pushing people and an alternative, healthier way to think. In a prior post, I wrote about some stinking thinking before I knew what it was: “Or maybe it’s me blaming myself for not seeing this coming. Maybe it’s me thinking that no matter what I…

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