Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Grateful That I Reached Out to All of You

I am grateful, very grateful, for all of you.  Some of you have called more than once today to find that my line is busy. You’ve left voicemails and emails, and randomlyk, thank you for what you did, too.

I am also very tired, and it is very late. But for anyone who I didn’t call back today, please know that I will check in tomorrow – or so I plan. It so happens that most of the calls I received and didn’t answer at the time came at a time when I was talking to another friend. I am feeling blessed.

There was a time when no one would be calling me at a time like this because no one would have known. I am so glad that I spoke up.

For anyone out there who is in an abusive situation, it is time for you to reach out too. It is time to begin remembering that people love you, really love you. And if you can’t think of any, then it is time to find a domestic violence group, book club, a gym, an online board if you must, somewhere where you can be YOU and start to remember that you are important, that you matter.

Trust me, the people you need will be drawn to you, and you will build your support system.

You know in your heart of hearts that “one day” you may be in my shoes – anxious, hyper-aware, unable to sleep properly or even remember to eat – because your abuser finally did the thing that you cannot accept one more time. And those people that you know or haven’t met yet will do what those who love me have done for the past four days.

They will call you, message you, text you, email you and poke you. Some will want to stop by and you will have to say, “I’m too tired and the kids are here” and they will understand. They will help you. They will invite you into their homes, unconditionally, whenever you feel the least bit insecure, scared, or anxious.

They will tell you how proud they are of you, how strong you are, how brave…and you may not believe those things to be true when you hear them, but after hearing them enough, you will come to believe that you are worthwhile, that you are brave, and that you did the right thing even though it was the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

They will remind you that time is your friend, keep you sane when you think that you should have done 101 things today when you only did 3. Even though the world has ended, the days are of the same length and the superhero strength it took to do the thing you did does not slow time, does not give you more time to complete the steps needed to get you from hell to peace.

They will also feel a little helpless because they WANT so badly to do SOMETHING…and you will keep them in your thoughts because sometime soon, you may need something that only that person can give, and they will give it to you. Like my old friend told me, you will have to let people help you, and that is one of the most difficult things to do.

To all of you who have extended your hand to me, no matter how you did it, I am feeling your support and your love. I have the sense that even some who haven’t contacted me directly are sending me prayers and warm thoughts. There is not a word that describes how grateful I am to all of you.

This is far from over, but I know I am far from alone, and that, my friends, is the greatest gift I’ve EVER accepted. Thank you.

Read this entire post and more. Buy My Abusive Marriage . . . and what happened when i left it by Kellie Jo Holly

Tim Marshall