Understandably, I am not going to share the details of what is transpiring right now. There are things that are not safe to say to anyone besides the parties involved. Tomorrow, after a much-needed sleep, I will continue to report on how I’m feeling and as much as possible, what I am doing.
Right now, I am acting on my emergency plan. It kicked into effect when I called the cops the other night, and it is continuing as I write. But for those of you who are worried for me, I want you to know that for now, I am okay. Each minute is different. During the horrible ones, I hold on, knowing that the next minutes will not be so terrible. The hardest part is honoring the anxiety I have without letting it overcome me.
I am very worried that he will break the no-contact order. Of course, everyone out here in North Carolina I know because of Will. They all say that they do not think he’ll do anything; it is okay to relax.
How would they know? If they knew my husband so well, then why didn’t they see this coming (again)?
They tell me “not to worry” because they do not want to upset what they thought was true about my husband.
They will be happier when they see HIM smile, hear HIM say the “right thing” (which he will) so they can believe the worst of me instead of changing their perceptions of him.
How dare they tell me not to worry! I am the only person in the world whom my husband will throw around like a rag doll and call a whore, a traitor, and a million other nasty things. Did he ever call YOU those names? Did he ever put his hands on YOU in an attempt to control and scare you? I doubt it.
You don’t know him like I do, so please stop suggesting that I pretend to know him as YOU do. Don’t tell me not to worry.