Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

The Four Sides to Every Slippery Truth

I’ve been considering the best ways to proceed with this blog, and I’ve decided to continue writing it pretty much the same way I’ve always done it – honestly, openly, and with the focus being on what I’m doing and how I’m feeling as I deal with the abuse in my life. This blog is about my world and me as I sense it. It exposes, often in hindsight, the dire truths of my situation. It is a record only because I cannot and do not know what is to come or to become of me. I write what I feel. It is the truth according to me. It is not the truth according to Will or the truth according to my boys, but the truth according to me.

I trust that everyone readily understands that there are always at least three versions of truth – your version, their version, and the indifferent exact record of events imprinted upon the universe that may never reveal itself. Sometimes all three versions line up perfectly. Usually, the three versions of truth do not align, and we people dive into the business of sorting things out which usually results in the fourth version of events which is not the truth either.

The law engages in sorting things out and, although the process works (because we the people empower it to do so), there is much omitted from the final report. The understated language of the law, although forceful, is often not as clear or forceful as I wish it would be. The law is not my voice, but I must adhere strictly to it because to ignore it would cause the court to sort things out in a more biased way.

Legal issues, such as separation and divorce, require discretion. Today in court, nothing happened that surprised me, and that was a good thing for my side of the truth. The ex-parte order stands with one revision: my attorney requested visitation for the boys with their father because I asked her to request it. My attorney also requested and the judge granted a line on the amended protection order that reads, “Parties are not to discuss this case or make any remarks about the other parent while in front of or around the minor children.”

Staying Within the Truth of the Law

I consider this blog to be in front of or around my children. They know I have a blog. I don’t think they are interested enough to visit it, but the fact is that they could, and there is no way to stop them from viewing it. So, here we are back in the first paragraph, how to proceed with this blog. I will not write about the specifics of this case, and I will not bad-mouth the boys’ father. I believe that I can share how I’m doing, what I’m thinking, feeling, and (to an extent) experiencing without violating any court order.

I can share, as it pertains to our separation, any event that I would share with my boys. For example, when I saw them today, I told them that they get to visit their dad, and neither dad nor I can say anything bad about the other in front of or around them. Those are facts they must know, and probably both facts relieve their worry to some extent. It may be challenging at times to refrain from adding specifics to my posts, but I am willing and able to write with the constraints.

Read this entire post and more. Buy My Abusive Marriage . . . and what happened when i left it by Kellie Jo Holly