I am earnestly putting faith in God that our relationship will straighten out. I must say, the last few days of not obsessing over Will have been a lot more fun and fruitful than vegging on “What will we do?!”
I am also trying to find the balance between EXPECTING God to turn us around and FAITHFULLY responding to him regardless. I know God will change me and my actions, but how do I make all this junk okay for our boys in the meantime? [Answer: I could not. I wish I’d left then, in 1998.]
I just read the Catholic paper and it mentioned Hope as being the difference between failure and success or a good life and a downtrodden one. I will always be hopeful.
(*This is quite different from the belief I wrote in “Hope is Worry Backwards” years later.)
Related entry: I’m Staying.
This entry is one day out of the journal I kept while I was still in the marriage. The whole thing, in order, is the book: My Abusive Marriage . . . and what i’m doing in it. Or read the first pages if you want to see whether it’s for you.