Will decided to return to the Army. I had no choice. I can’t help but wonder if he chose this particular time to make this drastic move to disrupt my goal to complete my bachelor’s degree in two years.
Now, years in the future, I know his plan worked. It wasn’t until I separated from him in 2010 that I was able to return to college.
April 9, 2001
Will asked me where I wanted to be as a couple in 10 years. His question took me off guard and I got angry. Why ask me this NOW when he’s already decided?! We’re going to be in the Army. There is no choice.
I am so negative on the Army thing. How can I set a goal for us when we will be transient? What are we supposed to shoot for?
Our only goals have been to find a house and raise wonderful kids. We did the first and are working on the second. I know we’ll be together, but what should we be doing?
I guess we’ve had one more goal – to pay off debt. We will definitely be doing that! The house and land and VAN will be hard to keep on a lower salary while renting (his plan, not mine!).
I have a real problem with goal setting. Maybe the problem isn’t with goal setting. Maybe the problem is that I’ve never had goals for “us” that he hasn’t set. Maybe the problem is that any goal I’ve had for myself isn’t important.
MY goal was to go to Texas A&M for my bachelor degree. Now I can’t. It’ll be another year before I can get back in school. ANOTHER one. Another year.
Read My Abusive Marriage…and what i’m doing in it…you’ll think I married your husband.