I am looking forward to graduation and having a little peace. You know, getting this far in school has really been an accomplishment. I am proud of myself.
Our 10th anniversary was yesterday. Will got me some pretty opal earrings and some roses. I am really happy with us, too. I am just a proud person.
He is such a part of me. We’re celebrating this weekend.
March 2012 Note:
At the time of the above journal entry, we are dealing with horrible situations. At least I am dealing with horrible situations, he is getting his way. He chose to go back into the Army with no input from me. He asked my opinion, I said no, and he did it anyway. And then, a few nights after that argument, he used sex to punish me.
What am I thinking?
I’m probably thinking: He’s the breadwinner, he should be happy at work, and he was happy in the military.
Will always gets a pass. I always give in. I don’t like to hold grudges, I don’t want to rock his boat. I don’t want to suffer his wrath. And for what? More angst, more pain, more disrespect, and less control over my own destiny.
Gotta love those honeymoon periods. Or maybe I gotta love how desperate my brain is to protect me from the truth. Will raped me to regain power over me so I would agree that returning to the military was a good idea.
