Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Sexual Abuse is Sometimes the Nice Way to Say Rape

Despite what I thought at the time, in hindsight looking at the clures, I think he DID know what he was doing.

Despite what I thought at the time, in hindsight, he DID know what he was doing. He raped me to regain power lost during a disagreement that he had to win.Sex was bad last night – scary – I felt like Will was punishing me, but I didn’t tell him to stop.

I will have to talk about that after school today, but he was so sweet afterward last night. We actually talked about some fun stuff after he said he didn’t want things to “feel like this again.”

He really didn’t know what happened, and that’s why we have to talk today. I just couldn’t bear to mention it last night.

Read this entire post and more. Buy My Abusive Marriage . . . and what i’m doing in it by Kellie Jo Holly (or preview the book now).

Note from May 30, 2012

Um. This sounds like the rape from when I was 14. I didn’t tell either to stop. They were both “sweet” afterward. I made the excuse that neither of them had really known what they had done. I felt dirty and ashamed after both attacks.

The sicker difference is that this time, it was my husband.

One more thing, I think Will DID know what he was doing. He was sweet right after, but said he didn’t want to feel this way again – what “way” was he talking about? He felt bad which meant he knew what he was doing.

I never mentioned it to him. It became another thing I tried to shove from my mind.