Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Domestic Violence Problems


  • Calm

    No more arguing today, and it’s 7:30 pm. We did talk more today since my last post, so the “no more arguing” bit is significant. We talked about how he is concerned about my abuse…

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  • Treating Him Like a Science Project–Or a Lab Rat

    Okay, I remember the advice. Science project (Observing But Not Participating In My Abuse). Calming down, not to go after it again though. I’m going to wait. And in the meantime, I’m going to write.…

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  • Arguing Over Nothing

    First argument, but I called a break. He was as unhappy about the argument as I was, I think. I’m writing to try to decipher when it started going south and why. I was first…

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  • Refresher

    It’s a good idea to know what the enemy is. Verbal abuse, by nature, attempts to make us forget what we’re fighting. Here are some web pages that I like when I need to remember…

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  • The Rolling Stones Are Co-Dependent

    Actually, whoever wrote The Beast of Burden sounds co-dependent to me. Here’s my interpretation of this fabulous song. This guy says he’ll never be her “beast of burden”, meaning to me that he’s not going…

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  • My Temper Tantrum and How I’ll Handle Anger in the Future

    I threw a temper tantrum I used abusive anger. I’m ashamed of myself, but instead of wallowing in that, I want to fix it. Here’s how I’m going to do that.

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  • Abusive Nonsense

    “He’s acting like his FATHER!” – Now if those words cross my mind, I will think, “This abusive nonsense is what I’m fighting, not my son.”

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  • Distraction as a Method to Get Out of Trouble

    Don’t ask “Did you do this?” if you already know the answer. Doing so allows for confusion and distraction which is a form of verbal abuse.

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  • Should-ing on Myself Diminishes My Peace

    Instead of habitually berating myself and buying make-up presents for the boys, I decided to objectively and constructively analyze yesterday’s temper tantrum.

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  • Angst

    I could lose the day to regret, or I could use the experience as a learning tool. I’m not a monster.

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