Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Domestic Violence Problems


  • The Beast Under My Bed: What If My Husband is Right?

    He makes the money. He schmoozes for the promotions, he works his ass off goddammit so he can come home and work like a slave around here, too. I’m always breaking stuff, always buying more…

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Better than "It hurts my feelings when you…"

    A comment on the previous post helped me to realize that I’ve got to come up with a strategy for dealing with my husband that doesn’t include telling him that he’s hurt me. He doesn’t care.…

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Gems

    Although I have skirted the outposts of my personality, my nature, previously, I am now going into me full force. I am reaching in deep and pulling out the treasures. I am finding the jewels inside…

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Randomly K's Story

    Thankfully, I have found Randomly K’s Journal Entry! It’s posted on the site along with Amber’s and Mike’s. Thank you so much for sharing your story, RK.  “It” happens just as you describe it. So…

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Fear

    Fear is a powerful force; it holds us tightly making it too hard to breathe, to feel, or to see a brighter future. Keep in mind that your fear, although probably wisely created out of…

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Yellow Isn't For Cowards

    Red Light Behaviors (<– previous post) This stinks. I’m sitting here bemoaning the fact that I have to think about the danger signs relating to my husband’s behavior (or anyone ‘s behavior, I guess). It’s scary…

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Red Light Behavior

    The very first time I met my therapist, she asked me to do an activity categorizing what behaviors were acceptable to me. “Red Light” behaviors are the worst most-intolerable and “Green Light” behaviors are tolerable.…

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Wasting Life on Abuse: No Call, No Worry

    It’s always harder for me to stay quiet. I want to let him know exactly how I feel to punish him. But where did I get the idea that sharing my thoughts and feelings was…

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • How I Attempt to Control: Is This Codependency?

    I divert my attention trying to “get it all done.” This results in frustration, yelling (at myself or someone else), and getting nothing done. I try to force the kids to put the same amount…

    +✢+✢+✢+


  • Hope is Worry Backwards

    Hope is wonderful when it comes to hoping it won’t rain. But if you’re hoping it won’t rain, aren’t you also worrying that it will? Hope is not good to base your life around. “I…

    +✢+✢+✢+